


Into The Unknown

by Bubblegum73



Category: The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: Adventure, Angst, Brotherhood, F/M, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, I Don't Even Know, Memories, Orcs, Panic Attacks, Scars, Torture, Uncle-Nephew Relationship, Why Did I Write This?
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-08
Updated: 2021-02-02
Packaged: 2021-03-06 19:47:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 36,822
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26364394
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bubblegum73/pseuds/Bubblegum73
Summary: Months after the attack that flipped their lives upside down, Fili and Kili are ready to reclaim their homeland and escape the memories that Ered Lurin offered them. It's not that simple though, for Yaznug still lives, and he has the ability to get what he wants. They battle orcs and similar creatures, memories, romance, and many different injuries...oh, and a dragon!
Relationships: Fíli & Kíli, Fíli & Kíli & Thorin Oakenshield, Kíli/Tauriel, Thorin Oakenshield & Thorin's Company
Comments: 2
Kudos: 15





	1. Shadows Of The Past

_"Fili, Kili!" Thorin called through the closed door where he could clearly hear playful voices echoing. "Bedtime soon!"_

_"Oh no!" Kili exclaimed as he grasped hold of a wooden dragon. "The beast trapped the princess in a cage under the mountain and put a spell on the bars! Mahal, the soldier prince is trapped too!"_

_Fili took hold of the toy soldier and then the wooden princess in his brothers hand. "Who cares about danger when there is love!" He exclaimed as he made kissing noises and banged the two figures together._

_"Ewwww!" Kili drabbled as he grabbed a toy horse. "Kissing doesn't get you out of danger! But the king can!" He picked up a wooden aeroplane and began to fly it around in the air with his hand as he made engine noises, rolling onto his back in the process._

_"We need to break the cage." Fili hummed as he took hold of an elephant. "What noise does an elephant make?" Kili did a trunk impression with loud howling noises as Fili laughed and Thorin entered the room quietly, raising an amused eyebrow as he stepped forward to watch. "It charges forward and distracts the dragon with the king on top!"_

_"And the wizard jumps in, breaks the spell and save everyone!" Kili finished, suddenly in a fit of giggles as Fili grabbed all of the toys in his arms._

_"And they have a happy life! One day the king shall set back out to slay the dragon properly."_

_Kili rolled onto his hands and knees and growled as Fili picked up the wooden sword and mimed his best stab movement. "Grrr." The brunette hissed._

_"What about the citizens? They need an escape!" The blonde pointed out. Kili pushed them all out of the way and they sprawled onto the floor as Kili jumped onto Fili's back, dragging them both backwards._

_Thorin chuckled and stepped forward, feeling rather intrigued. "What are you playing?"_

_"Dragons!" Kili yelled with an excited squeal._

_Thorin smiled and locked his hands behind his back as he wandered around the room in a trail of thought. "That's like no other dragon I've ever seen."_

_Fili gasped and sat up from his position lying on the floor. "You've seen a dragon?"_

_Kili popped up in a daze behind him. "Huh?"_

_Thorin nodded. "Once. A very long time ago."_

_"Was he nice?" Kili asked wide-eyed as Thorin's face darkened._

_"Oh no. He was horrid."_

_"You have never mentioned that before." Fili observed._

_"I can now." The exiled king declared as he led them to the bed, watching as one figure climbed on and seated himself against the pillows as another smaller one clambered on beside him and threw his arms around the blonde's neck._

_"Let's build a giant fort later." He whispered in Fili's ear as his brother smiled eagerly and nodded but Thorin interrupted them._

_"That is if you can sit and listen." Both brothers simultaneously held their breaths. Thorin hid a smile as he began his story. "Long ago, a kingdom that went by the name of Erebor was up and running, and all dwarves used to live there. The Lonely Mountain was where your great grandfather used to rule as king. There was much gold in the depths of that mountain that many desired, and as such it began to consume Thror. He longed for it; could never bare to leave it. He barely got out of the kingdom when one day the dragon came and caught us all off guard. He wanted the gold. The filth killed a lot of people whom resided in Dale before he came and devoured many of my people and we were forced to flee. Then we came here and it has been that way ever since. The dragon Smaug supposedly still lingers in Erebor."_

_It was a simple story, but it was still incredibly painful to tell. Thorin had decided that it was time the duo knew of Erebor though. Kili exhaled through a breath of wonder all of the air that he had been holding in his mouth to stop him from talking as Fili felt his eyes widen. "Woah, uncle! That's epic!" Kili breathed in astonishment._

_"It's not." Thorin argued. "It's the opposite."_

_"Will we ever reclaim it?" Fili asked innocently._

_Thorin sighed. "Maybe one day Fili. Maybe one day. Someday you will king if that is the case."_

_"Can we come?" Kili asked with wide, curious chocolate brown orbs which had always forced Thorin to give in to anything._

_"Maybe when you're older. Now it's bedtime for both of you."_

_"I don't wanna sleep. I wanna slay the dragon!" Kili growled with a roar as he soured through the air and landed on the mattress on his hands and knees with his best dragon face as Fili smiled and pulled him back from around the waist and kissed his little brothers russet bangs._

_"You need to sleep. It keeps us alive." Thorin pointed out._

_"We won't be able to sleep after that." Fili argued as Kili's legs spread out and he put his miniature hands in between them, pressing the mattress like a heartbeat._

_"When I was little and I couldn't sleep I would hum a song in my head. It helps."_

_"What song?" Kili questioned._

_"It's a lullaby. It's what my father used to sing to me."_

_"Can you sing it for us?" The blonde asked._

_"Please?" Kili added as he leant his head on Fili's shoulder whilst he admired his uncle with pleading eyes._

_"Okay." Thorin relented as both nephews snuggled up against the warmth that he provided once they had positioned themselves comfortably. "Far over the misty mountains cold..."_

* * *

"Uncle...uncle!" A pair of fingers snapping in front of his eyes abruptly drew the exiled king from his memory and he blinked to blur the visions into that of the real world before he turned to look at his nephew.

"Sorry...what?"

"Care to share?"

"Oh, it's nothing..."

"Balin will be fine." Fili decided, completely misreading Thorin's expression but the dwarf latched onto it, taking advantage of the change in topic.

"I know." Thorin agreed, though a twinge inside of him was rather miffed that this had happened in the first place. He vaguely remembered rounding the corner to find his youngest nephew kneeling over his unconscious lifelong friend with a guilty yet panicked expression, the rush to get the aging advisor back to Oin yet look for a missing little girl at the same time, and then the yelling at his distraught youngest nephew who looked like he could have collapsed with grief at any moment.

This time it had gone too far.

Then there was the quest. Thorin had decided to leave tonight to travel to the Iron Hills and see whether Dain had the heart to help them, but his nephews left for the hobbit's home in the shire tomorrow where he would journey once he had accomplished his task. He began to question his decision to let Kili come along, for today's incident had been something that could easily happen on the quest and he knew he couldn't afford that.

It was too important.

He couldn't bear the weight of burdens.

"He's won't be a burden, you know." Fili muttered from beside him, reading Thorin's regularly changing countenance correctly this time around. Thorin whipped his head to the side to look at his nephew questioningly. "It's those blasted woods. That's where it happened. Different surroundings won't be a reminder of everything that occurred; it will be like a fresh start. That's all he needs, uncle. To get away from... _here."_

Thorin mused this as he brought a thoughtful finger to his lips. On one hand, Fili couldn't be more correct. A change in place means a change in sight which means a change in thought and feeling. On the other hand, how could either Durin be sure that it would work that way? Surely seeing orcs would bring up shadows of the past that the archer would rather forget.

"Where are you going?" Thorin questioned, once again ending his series of thoughts when he suddenly spotted the blonde lingering in the doorway of the healing rooms.

"Just to...do something." Fili replied unhelpfully, before swiftly swinging open the door and stepping out into the light where he decided to head in the direction of his mother's grave.

* * *

"Amaris!" Kili called into the eerie silence of the forest as he continued to wipe away constantly flowing tears from his cheek bones. The brunette wearily craned his neck upwards and watched through the gaps in the tree branches as the white cloud of breath disappeared behind the scintillating fireball where it left an empty patch of sky-blue behind. The simple sight sent immediate shivers down his spine as visions of him with his back digging roughly into the bark as the rope bounded him so he couldn't move whilst he watched this happen for it was the only thing to keep him from dying of literal boredom, swarmed his vision.

He couldn't let the same fate befall a little girl.

He hated this forest. He hated it with such passion that he had been terrified once his feet were through the entrance to the gloom but he knew for a fact that he _needed_ to find Amaris.

_Thorin Oakenshield's second heir narrowed his eyes as he glanced behind his shoulder, able to distantly spot Lud training a group of four kids, one of which he was supposed to be looking after for the day. He sighed, focusing his attention back on the target ahead as he tried to push away the notion that this was the exact spot that caused his life to flip upside down less than a year ago. The entrance to the forest was in his line of sight, though lingered right in the corner which itched at his eyes as he tried to keep them set on the target._

_With his bow raised, posture correct and arrow readied he made the move to aim. The amount of time that he pointed the bow in the direction he was aiming seemed to last forever as his breathing grew more and more rapid the more he tried to ignore the ever-present forest right to the left of him._

_He only released when he heard a twig snap._

_The arrow whizzed through the air in the direction that he aimed that no longer happened to be the target, but his tutor's exposable leg. His vigorous heel-spin had sent the arrow straight into dwarf flesh and the startled look on Balin's face reflected on Kili's own as the body fell to the floor with a grunt and Kili clamped two hands over his mouth as he dropped his bow and sprinted, crashing to his knees by the injured dwarf's side._

_Lud noticed the panicked screams coming from his frenemy's direction and he frowned. After whispering something to one of his young students named Amaris he led the four over and immediately sent one of them to run and grab Oin. The male dwarfling did so in record time and was followed by not only Oin but Thorin and Fili also fell to their knees next to Balin's side._

_"What happened?" Thorin demanded, rounding hotly to Kili with an irate expression plastered on his face. His physiognomy darkened even more when Kili just stared in horror at the unconscious body on the floor, completely ignoring his uncle's question. "Kili!" Thorin exclaimed, making the archer jump slightly and he glanced at his uncle._

_"Well...he stepped through the trees and..."_

_"Where's Amaris?" A little boy interrupted, much to Kili's relief for there was no need for further explaining but when he looked around and caught no sight of the little girl his heart suddenly dropped._

_"Did you see where she went?" Kili asked._

_"Your supposed to be looking after her." Lud pointed out._

_"I wasn't talking to you." The archer snapped. "Besides, you're the one training her."_

_"Well you're..."_

_"Boys!" Thorin suddenly yelled, immediately silencing both._

_"She went that way." Another boy spoke up, sheepishly pointing in the direction of the woods._

_The series of curses that poured from the exiled king's lips that moment were so vile that Kili had to remind himself to not flinch over five times. "Lud, go and look for Amaris and send the other three home. Will Balin be ok, Oin?" Lud went off to do said task with a final glare to Kili as Thorin fixed his gaze which was laced with a touch of panic on the healer, waiting impatiently for a response._

_Oin frowned. "Aye, if we don't let it get infected. Kili's arrows aren't poisoned so it's not as dangerous, but still, bring him back to my place and we can clean it."_

_"What happened?" A voice behind them demanded and when Kili recognized the voice he didn't dare turn around. He was frozen in fear. The archer looked towards Fili for help who hadn't uttered a word during the ordeal as he prepared to get ready to carry a fully grown dwarf, a series of thoughts swirling around his mind like a whirlwind._ _Thorin looked down awkwardly as Oin continued the clean the wound. Dwalin stepped forward, blinking at the sight before rounding harshly on Kili, just as Thorin had done earlier. "You." he accused._

_"Dwalin..." Fili warned._

_"Help us carry him back." Thorin ordered to his friend before turning to Kili. "You. Go and help look for Amaris."_

_"No...I should stay here, I..."_

_"You've done enough!" Thorin snapped furiously, making Kili flinch slightly but he dipped his head in understanding and backed away sadly._

_"Yes sir."_

_Then he was gone._

"Amaris!" Kili called again, voice cracking at the pain of the flashback that he had just experienced. "Amaris! Come out! I won't be angry that you left, I promise!" Tears began to well in his eyes as he continued to hurry through the woods at a rapid pace, worry for Balin and terror for Amaris bubbling in his stomach. "I just need to know your okay." He collapsed against a tree when he received no answer and slumped down the bark in despair, rubbing a shaking hand across his arm which was laced with goosebumps, but not from the cold.

From the panic.

"Kili?"

The young dwarf recognized the smooth voice and immediately wiped the way the tears that were rolling consistently down his cheeks before sniffing and standing up, forcing a smile to Elena and her friend Isey.

The girl could tell he had been crying, for red surrounded his eyes that seemed to be puffy, and she didn't miss the way Kili hastily dabbed at them.

"Elena." He greeted, trying to stop the crack in his voice. "Isey. What are you doing here?"

"Hunting." Isey replied.

"What are _you_ doing here?"

"I'm looking for a little girl. Have you seen anyone run in here, about so high? Blonde hair? Shorts and a t-shirt?"

Both friends frowned. They had seen the little girl earlier and wondered if they should do anything when the child saw them and sprinted away at a surprisingly fast speed, leaving them to stare at her blankly.

"Actually we did see her..." Elena murmured.

"Yeah, but when she saw us she ran off." Isey added.

Kili cursed, not trying to be quiet as he did so but both girls saw the relief that also shone in his eyes that she _had_ ventured into this terrifying place and wasn't in fact at the Iron Hills. "Which way did she go?"

"We didn't see, she got lost in the tall grass. But it was just back there so she can't have covered much ground. We can help you look if you like?" Elena offered.

"You don't have to do that. I can find her by myself, she can't have gone far..." He trailed off when he caught sight of the little girl who darted through the bushes, squealing in panic when Kili saw her. "Amaris!" He called. "Stay here." he ordered to his friends before chasing after the little girl. "Get back here, where are you going?!"

He arrived at the mouth of a cave that the girl had visibly slid down moments after her and he didn't think twice before following. When he made it to the bottom he saw her, slouched against the damp stone with her face in her hands. He frowned and wordlessly slumped down to sit next to her.

"Would you like to explain?" He asked after an awkward silent thirty seconds.

"I'm sorry." She immediately offered. "Please don't be mad."

"Why did you do that? I hate coming in here! The whole class was waiting for you, they had to go home!"

"That was the point." She admitted.

Kili turned a questioning gaze on the dwarfling. "What are you talking about?"

"Lud told me too. He told us that you were going with some of the other dwarves from the mountain on a dangerous quest and said something about you not being ready because you can't even stand to be in this forest, and then he saw you shoot Balin and told me to come in here so you would be forced to as well. Said something about you overcoming your fear." Kili opened his mouth in shock as he looked up in realisation.

He was going to _kill_ Lud.

"Why did you do what he said?" Kili demanded, a little too angrily and he regretted it when he noticed the little flinch of terror beside him.

"He's scary!" She exclaimed. "And big! I didn't know what to do."

Kili bit back a stern retort about fighting back after realising that the girl sat next to him was extremely young and he would have probably done the same at her age. "Come on." He ordered, releasing his teeth from his lip. He had bitten it so hard he could have sworn the taste of blood lingered in his mouth somewhere "Let's leave this stinking cave."

She complied gratefully, and so the journey back to the training grounds began. The journey that sent constant cripples of shiver through his bones as he tried to forget the memories he gained from just laying eyes on a single lone stick lying in the irritatingly familiar mud.

* * *

Once they broke out of the forest into the relieving daylight which stopped Kili's headache and washed a fresher and happier feeling over his body he looked around, spotting Lud, Elena and Isey stood in the distance as they stared numbly into the forest. Kili glared evilly at Lud even though he couldn't see and put a hand on Amaris's back to direct her over to the group.

"Shall we go back in there?" Elena asked.

"Give him more time." Lud disagreed, glancing worryingly into the forest for they had been in there a long time. He didn't want to interfere because he got the notion that Kili needed practise for the quest.

"They've been in there long enough." Isey argued. "If we g..."

"Look who I found." A voice interrupted them and all three spun around in surprise to face the duo.

"Amaris!" Lud greeted. "I was so worried."

Kili scoffed and Lud immediately dropped the act, knowing full well Amaris had told Kili just from the simple sound. "Do you have something to say to Elena and Isey?" He asked Amaris who nodded.

"I'm sorry for running away. I didn't mean to worry anybody or give you the hassle of looking for me. It was a dumb thing to do, and I will _never_ do anything like it ever again."

Elena smiled. "That's okay little one." She then clapped her hands together. "Well, I guess everything is fine!"

Kili nodded before turning around, readying himself to walk to the infirmary. "Lud, take Amaris home. I need to go to Oin's."

"Wait, Kili, can I have a word?"

Kili spun around on his heels, a sudden burst of anger rushing through his veins. "Well what word would you like? Betrayer? User? How about my favourite, bye!" Kili hissed before spinning around on his heels and stalking away, leaving Lud to stare guiltily after him. Kili's frenemy silently cursed himself for feeling culpable, for this was _Kili_ he was thinking about. He scoffed before too storming away from the girls as Amaris trailed awkwardly after him.

* * *

Fili sat down on the grass and closed his eyes, gratefully letting the breeze blow his hair back as he tried to calm himself down. The blonde looked despondently at his mother's grave - it would have been her birthday on this day. He knew that Kili couldn't remember her face but _he_ could. Clear as day. He missed it more than words could say. He never really told anyone that he came here although he did quite often. Mainly when he felt sad...or confused, or just needed to let his thoughts out.

He sighed and wrapped his arms around his knees as he rocked back and forth in the position that he was sat in. He leant forward and replaced the flowers with some fresher ones that he had picked earlier from where he always went to do that task.

"Hey mum." He greeted. "I've just realised a certain date has come sooner than I thought. It's happening - we're leaving for the quest tomorrow. I wanted to say goodbye. When I was younger I always pictured us having this conversation - it looked different, obviously. Balin would be sat at our table without an injury to the leg as Kili stood happily without the feeling of guilt constantly swirling around his gut and you...well...you were alive." Fili murmured, looking grievously at the ground. "Kili shot Balin today outside the woods where it all happened - he was completely spooked and its ruined the build up to the fun adventure we are about to take part in. It was an accident, of course, but Thorin's now relying on me to keep him from repeating that kind of situation on the quest which of course I would do anyway but him and Dwalin just kind of felt that this incident was the last straw. I just want us to be sat on the couch whilst you _burn_ our dinner and ask you _a million_ questions about how to help my brother because...I have no idea what I'm doing."

He shook his head, tears welling in his eyes and he sniffed, letting the zephyr blow them backwards to smeer across the side of his eyes and he leant his head back, stretching his arms to the sides to play with the wind before finally looking back and reading the writing on the grave one more time.

"Mahal, I miss you." he breathed after doing just that whilst he fiddled with the pendant around his neck which had been left to him by his mother. It was his only source of comfort in many situations.

"I miss her too." A voice from behind the dwarf startled him and he turned around to his raven haired brother as he quickly wiped the tears from his eyes, but Kili just sat down next to him.

"I never knew you came here."

"I don't."

"Then why are you here?"

"Because I know _you_ always come here." Fili frowned. _How in mahal's name did Kili know that?_ "And before you ask how I'm your brother; I know all your secrets."

Fili chuckled. "Should I be worried?"

Kili laughed and threw his head back to feel the cool breeze blowing. "Course not."

"Have you packed for the quest tomorrow?" Fili questioned although he knew the answer, deliberately twisting the subject though he wasn't really sure why.

"Aye."

"Are you ready?"

Kili hesitated before answering. "Yeah..." He finally breathed. "I gotta get out of here, Fili."

"I know." His brother agreed. "I wish we could do the tearful goodbye with our mother."

"Fee, I know how much you miss her. I don't really remember her but I know you do. You don't have to be some dumb babysitter for me on the quest just because I'm an idiot that shoots my tutors; you just have to be my brother. You never fail - mum would be _so_ proud of you."

Fili's smile turned to a sob and for once in his life his head fell limply into Kili's lap as tears rolled down his face, emotions completely overwhelming his body. He was vaguely aware of Kili stroking his hair soothingly as he looked up at the sky, tears threatening to brew in his own eyes.

"I'm sorry." Fili mumbled after about five minutes whilst he sat up and controlled himself. "Somethings wrong with me."

"No its not." Kili argued as he slapped his knees and stood up, offering out a hand which Fili took, feeling stronger now and almost embarrassed with himself. "Now, I am giving us twenty four hours to feel sorry for ourselves and then it is time to pack up and leave, so let us depart, soldier!"

Fili's frown turned upside down. He began to chatter about the journey ahead whilst Kili's body structure untensed and he let himself feel visibly relaxed and excited on the outside.

Though inside he was shaking profusely.

* * *

**Chapter one, there you have it! I have loads of things to say.**

**First of all,** **lemme just explain Lud for a minute. He is one of those guys that teases Kili for his position and love for bows and everything, but he secretly admires him and is kinda jealous but he doesn't show it. Kili knows this though so he doesn't really care - he likes getting into a scrap with his frenemy every now and then for Lud secretly likes Kili, you get me?**

**Also the title stinks but it also fits the story line really well and I didn't pick it...but I kinda grew to like it!**

**Yes, Elena and Kili do have a thing but it will all change when he meets Tauriel...warning that relationship is in this fic so to all of those haters I'm apologizing now...but it won't be the _biggest_ plot or anything, it just fits well with the story line!**

**This chapter isn't the best I know, but it builds it up nicely and shows how the incident with Yaznug hasn't just gone away.**

**The angst has already started in this chapter and Kili's panicking is mainly happening because that woods is where it all happened, and where he accidentally shot Balin was where he got kidnapped so who can blame him in fairness? Thorin and Dwalin are both really mad and Thorin is questioning his decision to bring Kili along. Should Balin and Kili have a scene together? Or Balin and _Fili_? ** **Or Kili and Thorin?**

**Fili really misses Dis, as you can probably tell and he's sick of holding it in. He could remember her way better than Kili so the grieving is harder for him, even though it has been years.**

**Also this fic will contain a lot of whump, torture and angst, so beware!**

**The cute fluffy flashback at the beginning was so fun to write! I love writing them as children...Imagine, they would be adorable!**

**Anyways enough of my rambling. Next chapter the quest will start (after a few goodbyes) and yeah, hope you enjoyed! Review :)**


	2. Master Boggins

"So...Erebor tomorrow."

Elena smiled, looking up sadly yet confidently from her paused position of wiping down the desk top. "You're gonna do great. Get our homeland back, Kee. And if you ever get upset think of my amazing face, ok?"

Kili breathed a laugh as she stepped forward and took his hands. He felt a shiver run through his body and shook their hands on the spot. "Mmm, I'm gonna miss you."

"Me too." She concluded as both leaned forward and pressed their lips together for the first time. She wrapped her arms tightly around his neck and they stood like this for a long while, rocking back and forth until the door opened behind them.

"Excuse m..."

"We're closed, Gwalen, come on!" They yelled at the same time whilst they broke apart and the hunky dwarf threw his hands in the air defensively and swiftly departed as they shook their heads at his irritating interruption.

* * *

"Fili!"

"What?" The blonde yelled down the stairs.

"We need food!"

"What time is it?" Fili swung around the doorway and tilted his head at his brother.

"Um, half past I'm hungry." He muttered as he opened the fridge.

"Well maybe if you spent less time kissing Elena you'd have more time to eat." Fili pointed out as he slumped onto the sofa.

Kili frowned and turned around. "You saw that?"

Before Fili could answer Thorin rounded a corner with a smirk on his face. "Elena? The annoying rider that won you that bow?" When he received no answer he childishly grinned to himself, a rare occurrence indeed. "Well I saw that one coming."

Kili rolled his eyes and slammed the fridge shut after having grabbed the water. "It was a goodbye kiss. Nothing more."

Fili hummed doubtfully as Thorin snorted and grabbed his pack. "I'm going." He announced as his nephews looked up.

"Travel safe." Fili ordered.

"Don't get eaten by a bear." Kili added.

Thorin scoffed and took his furs from where they were hung. "I should be saying the same to you." He then smiled at his nephews. He and Kili hadn't had a proper conversation since their tutor got shot in the leg and it was nagging at his skin but neither had anything to say. It was over anyway; nothing more could be done aside pray to mahal that Kili would never do it again. He offered a final goodbye before swinging open the door and leaving, not even looking back at one of his homes for there was a better one awaiting them, and he was determined to go and get it.

* * *

"...And then Thorin had a go at Fili about me for shooting Balin and obviously I didn't blame him but now he's just being nice and I don't know why and my brother is upset for some reason about our mother who died years ago and I know for a fact that he barely knew her so I'm confused about that but I'm just going with it and Lud, oh mahal is driving me crazy! I think he has like a problem...maybe I should tell him to come to you! Elena kissed me and I don't know how the hell I feel about that and I'm leaving for the quest so soon and I feel like I haven't had any time to process everything and it's all so quick it's just..." He stopped pacing and making his wild hand gestures and looked to the therapist who listened intently with small nods every now and then. He sighed, locked his hands in front of him and let out a deep sigh as he fell back onto the comfy sofa. "Wow I feel so much better now."

She breathed a slight laugh. "Is it a big deal if Thorin doesn't yell at _you_ when you do something wrong?"

Kili shook his head. "No. It's not a big deal."

"You've been talking about it for twenty minutes." She pointed out.

Kili stretched his arms in front of him and locked his fingers, listening as a satisfying crack sounded. "Well aren't you supposed to talk during therapy?"

"Maybe keeping Elena separate from your actual life as Thorin Oakenshield's nephew keeps things safe."

"Safe?"

"If you keep her on one side of your life she doesn't have to see the darker side of your past, and it's quite nice to have someone who isn't constantly worried about you. Maybe you like feeling like that. Or maybe you are keeping her to the side until you figure out how you feel about her because you are worried that the quest is going to change your feelings."

Kili nodded slowly. "Wow, you are way off."

That was a lie, but he decided that she didn't need to know that.

"Ok. By what you've said I know you want to leave, but you think you're family _doesn't_ want you to leave, am I correct?"

Kili frowned. "I guess."

"Because you don't want to be a burden?"

"I guess."

"Or is there something else?"

Kili leant his head back onto the softness, embracing its comfort. "I don't want Yaznug to come back." He mumbled, the sound almost inaudible for he barely parted his lips as he spoke.

Kerry sighed. "Ok. Look at the chair." He did said order and stared at the black seat with a raised eyebrow. "Imagine that Yaznug is there and talk to him."

Kili scoffed. "I thought talking to empty chairs was the type of thing people come here to _stop_ doing."

"What would you say to him. If you could say anything." She asked, ignoring his last comment.

Kili stared fixedly at the chair, images of Yaznug spinning around in it to face him with his ugly, contorted face and his devilish smile. "Hello, my Kili."

The archer glared at him. "Go away."

"No." The orc replied.

"Go away." Kili repeated, harsher this time. "Nobody wants you here."

"And you think they want _you_ here?" Yaznug asked, tilting his head to the side in faked sympathy. "Nobody does, my Kili. Take my word for it. You think they'll be with you forever; no. Your brother wants rid of you so he can stop looking after somebody who is never going to get better, and your uncle wants to throw the annoying burden out of the window." He chuckled lowly, each sound laced with evil as Kili's glare deepened, one that couldn't resemble his uncle's more. "But not me. I will always be with you. The only one you can trust. The only one that will tell you the truth." Kili just stared at one specific scar on his face with terrified eyes yet a defensive countenance. "I'm the only one that you can count on."

The archer leant back in his chair. "Then I'd rather be alone."

Yaznug chuckled. "You wouldn't last a week without shooting somebody else. What if it is your brother next time?"

Kili inhaled deeply, the thought sending terrified shivers down his spine but he held himself together. "At least I'd be alive. You are not holding me captive anymore; you're not here, and the only way you can always be with me is if I _let_ you." The archer shook his head back and forth in realisation as he stared the orc directly in the eyes. "And I am _so_ over doing that."

He blinked to himself as the figure vanished before his eyes and he was looking directly at the same black chair he was familiarized with and glanced at Kerry who was smiling at him. He felt himself smiling back.

"Do you feel better?" She asked in an almost motherly tone.

"Aye." Kili answered, suddenly feeling awkward and he stood up and walked towards the door. "Wow. Thanks Kerry."

She faked a laugh. "We still have a half hour left."

"Oh..." He murmured, swinging his arms back and forth beside him as he fell back onto the sofa once more. "So how is _your_ day going?"

* * *

"Come, brother. Get Rebel." Fili ordered, running from the stables to grab their packs from the house once they got back from the arcade for the last time. Fili had requested they go there in case they never set foot in there again and danced on their favourite machine, ordered their favourite drinks and had a final blast in the place of their childhood.

Kili obeyed without hesitation, saddling up his pony. Rebel had grown a lot over the months and was now full size, and his ear infection had cleared up with the right medication. Kili adored the pony with all of his heart. He slipped his foot into the stirrup and saddled up, fastening the reins with practised fingers until Fili ran out and threw him his pack so he slung it lazily over his shoulder.

"How was therapy, by the way?" The blonde questioned, fastening a cart to the back of his own pony and dumped all of their newly sharpened weapons and extra supplies inside.

"Actually really good." Kili answered, a rare response indeed.

Fili was used to 'suckish' or 'boring' or sometimes 'the worst thing I could possibly have to sit through'. "Did Kerry say bye?" He asked, swinging his leg over Daisy's back.

"Yeah she..." Kili paused and tilted his head to the side. "You like Kerry, don't you?"

"No." Fili answered, a little to quickly.

"Mmmm..."

"Shut up and ride!" Fili hissed, throwing a ball of leather at his brother who swatted it away with a laugh but he obeyed anyway and the two rode side by side away from the only place they had ever called home, with a final look back as both silently whispered goodbye.

* * *

The ride went surprisingly smoothly for two durin brothers who seemed to attract trouble wherever they went. The only problem came when they actually reached the Shire and realised they could not find the wizard's mark anywhere. They went in a loop around three times, every hobbit in their gardens giving them odd looks for it was a probability that dwarves were rarely seen roaming around here, and the fact that nobody asked why they were there made the brothers certain that they were late and the hobbits had asked their earlier passing kin.

One lady asked though for she was sick of seeing the ponies pass her lawn and she was unaware of why. "Why are you here?" She snapped, strolling over to her gate which surrounded her pristine garden in annoyance.

Both brothers jumped. "We're here to visit someone." Fili answered. It wasn't exactly a lie.

"Who?"

"Bilbo Boggins." Kili replied. "Do you know where he lives?"

"It's Baggins." Fili whispered.

"No its not."

"Yes it is."

"No its not."

"Yes it is."

"Kili..."

"He lives at the top of the hill. May I ask was business you have with him?" She questioned, interrupting their little argument whilst pointing in the direction and they followed her finger.

"Fixing a lightbulb." Fili lied.

"Aye. Broke it he did. Left it smashed on the floor." Kili laughed and the hobbit woman furrowed her brow at him. "Yo hablo sicko."

Fili stared at him. "What?" The blonde then shook his head. "Thanks for your help."

The two rode away, leaving the lady to stare after them in confusion. They eventually found the silver mark scratched onto a large round emerald-green door with an immaculate frame surrounding it. They slipped off of their ponies and tied them to the posts before following the sign up the stony steps. The verdant garden was unbelievably pristine and there didn't seem to be one thing out of place.

They weren't surprised for as they trotted by each house they couldn't believe how quiet and neat the place was. It seemed to all be peaceful and magical and like a place to remind you when life was simple.

The mossy roof evolved into grass at the top which the brothers assumed lead to more land, a long green carpet traveling as far as the eye could see.

"Ok, how do we introduce ourselves?"

"Like normal. Sophisticated." Fili replied, as though it was the most obvious thing.

Kili always found this way boring but decided that this simple greeting could carry all of his usual charm. They knocked on the door, waiting patiently for an answer and when they got one they immediately smiled to the flustered hobbit, not noticing his face of irritation.

"Fili."

"And Kili."

"At your service."

"You must be mr Boggins." Kili greeted as cheerily as he could muster.

"Nope you can't come in, you've come to the wrong house." He moved to shut the door when Fili put a hand on it to stop him from slamming it in their faces.

"What? Has it been cancelled?"

"No one told us." Fili added in concern to his brothers previous statement.

"Wha...cancelled? No, nothings been cancelled!"

"That's a relief." Kili decided as he swatted the hobbit's hand away and barged into the humble home, his brother close on his tail. Kili looked around, widening his eyes at how clean the accommodation was on the inside as well as the outside. Hobbits were known for their tidiness but he hadn't expected this dazzling aroma.

"Careful with these." Fili ordered as he dumped a pile of weapons into the hobbit's un-prepared arms. "I've just had 'em sharpened."

Kili looked over, holding back a laugh at how the hafling could barely see over the amount stacked in his shaking arms. "It's nice, this place." He complimented, noting the dirt that he had dragged inside so he wiped his boot on a random box. "Did you do it yourself?"

"No it's been in the family for years, and that's my mother's glory box can you please not do that?"

"Fili, Kili, come in 'ere and give us a hand." Dwalin ordered.

Kili smiled at his mentor. "Mr Dwalin." he breathed in wonder, before helping move a table to the side as Fili followed them in with a smile, all the while each dwarf completely oblivious to the hobbits constantly growing impatience.

"Shove this in the hallway otherwise we'll never get anyone in." Balin instructed as he began to order everyone around with a few hand gestures to move the tables and clear some space in such a small area. The chime of the doorbell vibrated through the house and Kili flinched internally, knowing for a fact that there would be more dwarves arriving at Bilbo's door than the hobbit realized.

"No no, there's nobody home!" Bilbo yelled, shaking Fili's heavy weapons off of his shoulders and onto the floor.

"Someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning." Kili whispered to his brother who laughed.

"Go away and bother somebody else. There's far to many _dwarves_ in my dining room as it is!" He said the word 'dwarf' like most would say 'elf'. "If this is some clot-head's idea of a joke..." Kili burst out laughing. _He did not just say clot-head._ "I can only say it is in very poor taste..." Bilbo's rambling came to a halt when he angrily swung open the door and eight more dwarves with a rather guilty looking wizard who had to duck tumbled through the large round entrance in a heap. Kili didn't think they could make it more clumsy if they tried.

"Gandalf." The hobbit breathed in irritation. _Who else would it be?_

The dwarves straightened up and tidied themselves before helping their four early companions in the kitchen, making their dinner. At least, that is what it was to them. To the hafling it was a group of twelve dwarves destroying his kitchen, eating him out of coin and practically taking over his entire house, all the while not paying attention to their host's consistent and desperate pleas.

"Who wants an ale? There you go!" Fili offered as he walked along the table. Kili slapped him on the leg for the blonde trod in his food but it didn't stop him from taking an ale and watching in amusement at the cacophony of noise around him. He wondered just how burst Bilbo's eardrums would be by the end of the day for the hafling wasn't used to this, but Kili was. He was used to the banging of cutlery on the table, the victorious yells of joy when you succeeded in catching a piece of food thrown at you in your mouth, the excessive and extremely loud laughter, though not so much the surprisingly impressive belch delivered by Ori.

"Kili!" The voice from behind him distracted him from his thought trail and he quickly yanked down his sleeve to hide the scar he had been staring at. "Are you ok?" Fili asked.

"Mhm." The brunette lied. "I think our hobbit is a little confuzzled."

Fili chuckled. "Maybe Gandalf got the wrong hobbit."

"I do not make mistakes, master dwarf." Gandalf pointed out from behind them, making them both jump.

"Hehe. I'm gonna go." Kili said as another conversation caught his ears to leave Fili talking to the tall wizard alone.

"Ex...excuse me, that is a doily, not a dish cloth." Bilbo pointed out, snatching it from Nori's hand who walked off obliviously.

"But it's full of holes!" Bofur exclaimed.

"It's supposed to look like that, it's crochet."

"Oh, and a wonderful game it is too, if you've got the balls for it."

Kili stood next to Bofur, leaning casually against the wall as he watched Bilbo complain to the wizard. "I'm not sure that's what he meant."

"Kili!" Bofur exclaimed in cheerful greeting. "Long time no see."

"Right?" Kili returned.

Bofur blew out air through clenched teeth from his pipe. "How are yer doing?"

"Fine. Did Bombur go to the hall?" He asked, spinning the topic around intentionally.

Bofur picked up on this and answered. "Aye. Took his wife, he did."

"Did you take anyone?" Kili asked, raising an eyebrow with his tongue in between his teeth.

"Nah. I was lookin' after his fourteen children on the sidelines. Plus there was nobody!"

"Well that's not true!" Kili exclaimed, nudging his friend. "Marlene?"

"Tiny hands."

"Karina?"

"Smells."

"Ah. Karel Everden."

"Karel Everden...my second cousin Karel Everden?" Bofur asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Well...people don't know that."

"Oh. This is the wizard." Bofur introduced as the wizard crept up behind Kili who spun around in surprise, staring up at the white-bearded robed figure once again. He thought he had escaped, for mahals sake!

Him and Fili had naturally had a very large conversation about wizards on their way here for they had never met one before. Tales they had been told or read in books impressioned wizards as crooked old men with hot tempers who are grumpy and miserable and carry a staff with a pointy hat on their heads. They supposed the staff was used to turn them into bugs if they were annoying and so silently vowed not to be, though looking around at the hobbit's wide eyes as the dwarves constantly tossed his belongings around with absolutely no care in the world, not annoying was kind of out of the question.

The wizard was casually taking puffs of his pipe though and questioning his ability to fit into this hobbit hole with the tiny doors and wine glasses, so Fili and Kili both lamented that their predictions couldn't have been more wrong. This guy seemed rather carefree.

"You must be Kili. Your uncle has told me all about you." Gandalf tilted his head in wonder, studying the archer with aged eyes full of wisdom.

"Uh oh." Kili laughed slightly, unsure how the heck to talk to a wizard. "Who are you?" He knew but he couldn't think of anything else to say.

"Oh, how rude of me. My name is Gandalf the Grey."

"Interesting." Kili answered. "I mean! Not interesting, but I guess..."

Gandalf laughed and before Kili could continue to make awkward small talk Dori appeared, offering the wizard a glass of wine, distracting him from what he had wanted to say to the young brunette archer who sighed in relief.

Kili departed from the conversation and made his away along the floor towards where he presumed the bathroom was. At one sudden moment a plate was hurled in his direction and with a quick reaction he grabbed it.

_We're doin' this._

The switch flicked in his head and he tossed the plate behind him, before catching another in the air and doing the same until he began to expertly kick them, not listening to the hafling's exasperated pleads. Fili was proud of them for cracking nothing so far as he bounced them off of his elbows and threw them to his brother. The hobbit looked mortified and Fili wanted to reassure him that they had had years of practise.

The company sat at the table picked up the knives and forks, bashing them up and down in perfect synchronisation to create a beat. To the furious hobbit it looked as though they had been practising for this one moment for a long time, though he couldn't have been more wrong. This type of thing came naturally to dwarves.

"Can you not do that?" He asked, desperate to grab his hair and yank out the curls in exasperation. "You'll blunt them!"

"Oooh, you hear that lads? He says we'll blunt the knives!" Bofur mockingly informed them, hint laced into his voice which Kili took.

"Blunt the knives, bend the forks." He sang.

"Smash the bottles and burn the corks." Fili continued with a smug grin.

_Chip the glasses and crack the plates_   
_That's what Bilbo Baggins hates!_

_Cut the cloth, tread on the fat_   
_Leave the bones on the bedroom mat_   
_Pour the milk on the pantry floor_   
_Splash the wine on every door!_

_Dump the crocks in a boiling bowl_   
_Pound them up with a thumping pole_   
_When you're finished if they are whole_   
_Send them down the hall to roll..._

In a little break Bofur sprinted and grabbed his whistle to continue the music with a muchy merrier tune as the hobbit's eyes grew to the size of saucers when he caught sight of the ever-growing stack of bowls by the sink with nothing to hold them in balance, although surprisingly they did not fall.

"That's what Bilbo Baggins hates!" They finished loudly, laughing at the fun of what had just happened. Fili guffawed with the three dwarves around him after their cheers with the ale before taking a sip as Kili slung an arm over Bifur, using him as something to lean on whilst he snickered at Bilbo's flustered expression.

The door knocked, interrupting their moment of merriment and everyone grew silent when they narrowed down all of the options about who it could possibly be standing at that door as the source of the mysterious knocking.

It wasn't very mysterious to everyone other than the hobbit though, and their laughter had completely subsided as they prepared for the arrival of their king.

Gandalf finally decided to speak the thought that was swirling around in the air and making it much more dead than it was thirty seconds ago.

"He is here."

* * *

**This update took me a while soz...they will usually be way quicker than this.**

**Basically since the last story Kili has been a wee bit funny in the head and the only person he really lets everything out to is Kerry who is basically a therapist that Thorin and Fili made him go and see. She's not very important though, I only needed to make the point of him seeing a therapist. You can see what I mean when I say he hasn't mentally healed and can actually see Yaznug and predicts what he is going to say if he tries. That's how much the meanie got into his head when he was captured.**

**I love the scene in bag-end - it's literally my favourite one to write!**

**See y'all next time!**


	3. Lets Go Get It

"Gandalf." Thorin mumbled, as though it wouldn't be anyone else answering the door. "I thought you said this place would be easy to find. I lost my way, twice. I wouldn't have found it at all had it not been for that mark on the door." He didn't wait for an invite as he stepped in and removed his coat, looking around for a place to hang it and when he saw nowhere he lay it on his arm and observed his surroundings, slightly intrigued yet still irritated at the unnecessary effort his travels here took, combined with the annoying news that they now numbered only thirteen with no extra army and...well, whatever that curly haired grocer was that stood in front of him, furrowing his brow at the king's words.

"Mark? There's no mark on that door, it was painted a week ago!"

"There is a mark, I put it there myself. Bilbo Baggins, allow me to introduce the leader of our company, Thorin Oakenshield."

Thorin stepped further forward and crossed his arms, cocking his head at the hafling. "So, this is the hobbit. Tell me, Mr Baggins, have you done much fighting?"

"Pardon me?"

"Axe or sword, what's your weapon of choice?"

"Well, I do have some skill at conkers, if you must know. But I fail to see why that's relevant." Kili furrowed his brow at the answer and grinned at Bombur who snorted, the archer also trying not to burst out laughing.

Thorin smirked in disbelief and glanced back at his companions. "I thought as much. He looks more like a grocer than a burglar."

The dwarves all laughed and Kili found himself smiling as he filtered back into the dining hall, quite amused at the suddenly dim and quiet aroma. It was like they were scared to be loud; scared of Thorin's wrath. He would never say it but he honestly thought Thorin was more scared of him that Kili was of his uncle sometimes. Thorin always acted so cautiously around him, like he was afraid of saying the wrong thing or being a disappointment and Kili always wondered why.

 _He_ was the disappointment.

"What news from the meeting in Ered Lurin? Did they all come?" Balin asked once everyone was seated with a plate of dinner in front of them, calmly eating. The atmosphere differed a huge amount to ten minutes ago when they were chucking food at one another from the other side of the table, but they supposed serious discussions needed serious, focused minds.

"Aye, envoys from all seven kingdoms."

"And what did the dwarves of the Iron Hills say? Is Dain with us?" Dwalin further questioned as everyone stilled and listened intently.

"They will not come." Murmurs of disappointment vibrated solemnly through the room as the dwarves all waited for Thorin to elaborate. "They say this quest is ours, and ours alone."

"You're going on a quest?" Bilbo piped up from the corner, having not said much during the whole ordeal after Thorin's arrival.

"Bilbo, my dear fellow, let us have a little more light." said the wizard as Bilbo scurried away. "Far to the East, over ranges and rivers, beyond woodlands and wastelands, lies a single solitary peak."

Gandalf placed a large map on the table which he had pulled out when Bilbo had left the room and pointed to said peak, Kili craning his neck slightly to see as the hobbit walked back over with a candle and leant in to read from the map.

"The Lonely Mountain."

"Aye, Oin has read the portents, and the portents say: it is time." Gloin explained.

"Ravens have been seen flying back to the mountain as it was foretold. When the birds of the old return to Erebor, the reign of the beast will end." His brother added.

"Uh…what beast?" Bilbo asked.

"Well that would be a reference to Smaug the terrible, chiefest and greatest calamity of our age. Airborne fire breather, teeth like razors, claws like meat hooks, extremely fond of precious metals." Bofur explained casually.

"Yes, I know what a dragon is." Bilbo informed him, the smartest thing he had said all night.

"I'm not afraid, I'm up for it. I'll give him a taste of the dwarvish iron right up his jacksy!" Ori told the group as everyone cheered him on, aside Dori who grabbed him by the waist and yanked him back down to sit on the chair.

"Sit down!" He hissed. Fili shot him a smirk, understanding of the protectiveness in an older brother.

"The task would be difficult enough with an army behind us, but we number just thirteen, and not thirteen of the best, nor brightest." said Balin despondently.

Murmurs of disagreement arose throughout the dwarves and Fili decided to shut them up. "We may be few in number. But we're fighters, all of us! To the last dwarf!"

"And you forget we have a wizard in our company, Gandalf will have killed hundreds of dragons in his time." Kili added. This caused another moment of all of the dwarves talking over each other as the wizard choked on his pipe, unsure what to say to the untrue statement. Mahal, dwarves thought highly of him.

"Oh, well. No, uh, I…I wouldn't say…"

"How many then?" Dori questioned, interrupting the wizard's stuttering. Kili blinked in realisation; the darn wizard hadn't killed any dragons. He made a silent vow to ask Thorin what the plan was, for he wasn't sure he particularly fancied entering Erebor with no battle plan. It would be foolish to assume that Smaug was dead, stupid to think that a wizard could kill a gigantic fire-breathing calamity all on his own and reckless to run in and try and beat it with swords.

"What?"

"Well, how many dragons have you killed?" When Gandalf didn't answer the white haired dwarf got annoyed. "Go on, give us a number!" The dwarves started yelling over the top of one another, getting angrier by the second. The hobbit cringed and tried to calm them down but his attempts were vain.

Thorin rolled his eyes and arose from his chair. "Enough!" At the silence this brought Kili grinned to himself and the same thought rushed through his head once again. _They're all scared of him._ "If we have read these signs, do you not think others will have read them too? Rumors have begun to spread. The dragon Smaug has not been seen for sixty years. Eyes look East to the mountain, assessing, wondering, weighing the risk. Perhaps the vast wealth of our people now lies unprotected. Do we sit back while others claim what is rightfully ours? Or do we seize this chance to take back Erebor?"

Everyone cheered, mostly at the last part of the sentence and a fresh wave of determination seared through their veins, washing over them when Balin decided to ruin the moment. "You forget the front gate is sealed. There is no way into the mountain."

"Mood ruiner." Kili muttered as Balin shot him a glare and Fili hid a grin.

"That, my dear Balin, is not entirely true." Gandalf pulled out a key, twiddling it in his fingers which everybody stared at like it was a ghost. Fili and Kili glanced at each other, both completely unaware of what was so striking about it but pretended to know as they leant on their hands and nodded in false interest.

"How came you by this?" Thorin whispered, gazing at it awestruck.

"It was given to me by your father, by Thrain, for safekeeping. It is yours now." The wizard explained, handing the key to the king.

"If there is a key, there must be a door!" Fili's eyes widened in happiness as he spoke the words. Perhaps they really could do this.

"Really?" Kili teased, earning a nudge to the stomach. "Fili!" He hissed, groaning indignantly. "I just ate!"

"These runes speak of a hidden passage to the lower halls." Gandalf's unmistakable voice was louder than their conversation, thankfully cancelling it out and it was for the most part ignored.

"There's another way in." Kili mused.

"Really?" Fili retorted.

"At least I know a key opens a door."

"I did know that!"

"Well, if we can find it, but dwarf doors are invisible when closed. The answer lies hidden somewhere in this map, and I do not have the skill to find it, but there are others in Middle-Earth who can. The task I have in mind will require a great deal of stealth, and no small amount of courage. But if we're careful and clever, I believe that it can be done."

"That's why we need a burglar." Ori spoke up for the second time, once again catching everyone by mild surprise.

"Hmm. And a good one too. An expert, I'd imagine." said Bilbo obliviously.

"And are you?" Everyone glanced at Bilbo after the question.

"Am I what?"

"He said he's an expert!" Oin exclaimed with a satisfied laugh as conversation and debate once again arose.

"Me? No! No, No, No! I…I'm not a burglar. I've never stolen a thing in my life." Bilbo declared proudly.

"And I'm afraid I have to agree with Mr. Baggins. He's hardly burglar material." Balin stated.

"Aye, the wild is no place for gentle folk who can neither fight nor fend for themselves." Dwalin added with a devilish snark of disapproval.

Gandalf got annoyed when people argued over the top of one another, the outcome mostly being that the hobbit should indeed not attend the journey. "Enough!" he yelled, silencing them all. "If I say Bilbo Baggins is a burglar, then a burglar he is! Hobbits are remarkably light on their feet. In fact, they can pass unseen by most if they choose, and while the dragon is accustomed to the smell of a dwarf, the scent of a hobbit is all but unknown to him, which gives us a distinct advantage. You asked me to find the fourteenth member of this company, and I have chosen Mr. Baggins. There's a lot more to him than appearances suggest. And he's got a great deal more to offer than any of you know, including himself." There was a pause, a moment of tense silence where nobody was quite sure what to say. Gandalf finally spoke again, leaning more towards Thorin than anybody else. "You must trust me on this."

Kili was patiently waiting for Thorin to bark back some argument but to his surprise the king in exile reluctantly agreed. "Very well. We'll do it your way. Give him the contract."

Balin was quick to obey. "It's just the usual summary of out-of-pocket, time required, remuneration, funeral arrangements, so forth." The tutor explained, handing it to Bilbo who unravelled it and flinched at how long it was.

"Funeral arrangements?" The hobbit skimmed through it, rambling to himself throughout the process.

Kili giggled. "I think he's the only one who read the terms."

"You didn't read them?" Fili asked.

"Oh, I suppose you did." Kili raised an eyebrow as Fili nodded.

"Of course I did." He lied.

"Mmm. Sure, brother."

Fili nudged him and glanced back at Bilbo.

"Incineration?!" He exclaimed in shock.

"Oh aye. He'll melt the flesh off your bones in the blink of an eye." Bofur explained, smiling at the thought as he smoked his pipe.

"You alright laddie?" Balin asked, noticing how Bilbo's skin whitened a little more with every word.

"Huh? Yeah, I fe...I feel a bit faint."

"Think furnace, with wings."

"I...I...I need air." The halfing gasped.

"Flash of light, searing pain, then poof! you're nothing more than a pile of ash!"

"Nope." The hobbit fainted, falling to the floor with a thud.

"Oh, very helpful Bofur." Gandalf muttered sarcastically.

* * *

Not long after everybody was settled in the living room by the raging fire, Thorin and Balin having a hushed conversation in the doorway, Kili found a quiet corner where nobody was located and pulled up his tunic sleeve to reveal the scar which he stared angrily at. He then bit his lip in wonder, craning his head to see and listen to the conversation occurring between his uncle and mentor. Thorin had an expression of disbelief on his face as Balin questioned whether the journey was truly a good idea.

 _Alright, Yaznug._ he whispered in his mind. _I appreciate you scaring me for life, but this is over._ The phrase circled itself around his mind as he continued to realise how desperately the great Thorin Oakenshield really wanted Erebor back.

The hobbit ambled past at that moment, having recovered from his faint and he was now feeling a little confused, shooting a glance to the brunette under his feet and widening his eyes at the dark red mark. From the snippet he had seen the colour was still the ugliest mix of red and black you will ever see, travelling practically the whole way up the brunette's arm. It reminded the innocent hafling of a branding when once upon a time he used to study other races with his mother from books on books, but most of the knowledge had washed over his brain now, especially the most important pieces; orcs, goblins...danger in general.

"How did that happen?" He demanded, surprised at how confident he sounded when he said the four words.

A voice in front of Kili startled him from his thoughts and he yanked down the sleeve, throwing his head up to lock eyes with a confused hobbit. "What do you mean?"

"That scar!" The hobbit exclaimed, looking a little troubled. "How did you get it?"

"It was just fire." Kili answered.

"F...fire? Fire caused that?"

Kili nodded, frowning at Bilbo's addled expression and then he breathed a laugh. "Is there a problem?"

"N...no, I just..." he paused, huffing. He shoved his hands in his pockets and bounced up and down slightly, not wanting to press the matter. He knew better. "I really don't know anything about the life of a dwarf."

"You'll learn." Kili told him, catching on to the change in conversation and he was more than grateful for it. "Hobbits are way too cleansy, you really want to spend the rest of your life knowing you never once had an adventure?"

"Hobbits aren't made for adventures."

"You'll adapt. I haven't seen half of the things my uncle has seen yet I have seen a fair amount of danger but I'm alive, and I don't think this is going to be half as horrific as that. You want my advice, drop the squeaky-clean attitude and come - it will be worth it. You might even enjoy it." He raised one mischievous eyebrow concerning the last words of his sentence; giving a naive hobbit a good time on a cold and wet journey could definitely be arranged.

Bilbo didn't say anything, just thought about these words and the scar on Kili's arm. _This is the life of dwarves...this is what they do...they lost their homeland when I'm here in a pristine hobbit hole...what did they do to deserve it?_

"I'm using your bathroom." Kili decided when he got no reply.

"Uh, no, wait!" The hobbit stuttered, considering the all but destroyed plumbing that he had found sprawled carelessly over the floor, but his pleads didn't catch the attention of the archer who had already left the room.

_Far over the misty mountains cold_

Kili re-entered the room as the dwarves began to hum. Fili was leant against a sofa near the back and felt guilt swirling in his stomach as the dwarves around him sang, everyone but him and his brother. They didn't have a right to join in; they hadn't _lived_ the terrible experience of losing their homeland. They were journeying there to help reclaim it, yes, but they had no idea what it was they were reclaiming.

_To dungeons deep and caverns old._

_We must away_

_Ere break of day_

_To find our long forgotten gold_

_The pines were roaring on the height_

_The winds were moaning in the night_

_The fire was red, it flaming spread_

_The trees like torches blazed with light_

* * *

Thorin looked extremely uncertain as he settled to sleep himself on the coach once the familiar lullaby had ended. His conversation with Balin had been true; it was up to him to steal the blasted mountain back now that he had the key. However, the amount of recklessness that this would provide was too high for his liking, for they numbered only thirteen. Thirteen loyal, pure and stubborn dwarves who could, for the most part, wield a weapon when handed one, but was this truly enough against a dragon? And whatever else was lurking out there?

_Yaznug?_

The moment he thought this he growled softly to himself. He longed to drive a knife into that creature's skull and listen to it twist in satisfaction whilst screams of pain emitted from its filthy mouth.

Thorin watched his nephews quietly converse in the corner and he smiled. "Uncle?" Fili whispered, noticing the movement of a figure in the darkness. "We thought everybody was asleep."

"They are." he answered, realising he hadn't really spoken to his nephews since his arrival. "Aside me, of course. How was your journey here?"

"It went smoothly." Kili answered. "For once."

"Better we tell this stuff whilst travelling to Erebor, eh?" Fili offered, wriggling in slight excitement.

Thorin sighed. "We may only be travelling home."

"What do you mean?" One brother asked.

"We're not taking back Erebor?" The other added in question.

"We were counting on an army. We number only fifteen and our burglar isn't even a burglar."

"Maybe a small force is what we need." Kili offered.

"We're facing a dragon. A dragon that killed hundreds of our people; that can turn you into a pile of ash with one breath. I'm sorry, but this was a bad idea from the start."

Fili stared deeply into his uncle's eyes, noting the desperation behind the stern mask of blue. "Uncle, do you want to take back Erebor?"

"More than anything."

"Then let's go get it." The brothers told him in unison before sending a synchronized smirk to one another.

Thorin paused, studying their faces carefully before he finally came to a conclusion. "Okay."

"Besides, we can't just eat this hobbit out of house and home for nothing." The archer pointed out.

"True." Thorin laughed. "No, you are right. If you want to fly like a butterfly then don't flap like a crow."

Kili smirked. "Who wants to fly like a butterfly?"

Thorin chuckled lowly and settled with getting comfy, close to the two most precious people in his life.

Fili smiled, leaning his head back as he and his family settled to grab as much sleep as possible before they departed, which, according to their leader, was at the crack of dawn. At Thorin's relaxed face that definitely held a ghost of a smile and Kili's slumbering figure curled up next to him whose bangs lay lazily over his eyes, Fili had no doubt in that moment that everything would turn out just fine.

He just hoped he could keep up this attitude until he was sat in a coronation room, happy little brother at side and Thorin being rightfully crowned as king.

* * *

**Ok, this took me forever but the next chapter will come this week as a make up. Life is so busy! I'm not sure about this chapter and it isn't very long, but I wanted to end it and start their actual journey on the next one which is pretty much all written up! By the way, Thorin's character won't be very much different to the movies but in the films he hadn't really raised his nephews, not alone anyway, but he did in this so he has more time to really listen to them and he is a little softer and more protective around them, especially after what happened. He just doesn't really realise how deeply the incident actually affected Kili.**

**Anyways, see y'all next time!**


	4. Memories

Kili lifted up the reins of his pony as it trotted it's hooves over the thick, wet mud that they had been trudging through for days. The weather hadn't changed once and it was burdening them with heavy, soaking wet clothes that were plastered to their skins in an uncomfortable manner and they struggled to settle down in one place, usually looking for some form of cave to sleep in. Now they trotted through another mire right on the edge of a rushing river, but if they went into the forest next to them instead Gandalf worried they would lose their sense of direction which he knew if they followed the river's edge.

The funny thing was that Kili could trot through these forests without batting an eyelid. He felt so much calmer than he did at home; his mind was settled, freer.

That wasn't to say his nightmares had stopped. Frankly they had gotten worse, despite how little danger they had been in recently. But somehow he had gotten better at hiding them and never spoke about them anymore, seemingly letting his uncle accept the fact that he wasn't burdening them in any way.

"We'll stop here and make camp." Thorin announced. The buzz of relief that vibrated through every dwarf was manifest for a break was much needed in that moment. Thorin began to bark out orders the moment he was off of his pony though, once again making the company complain.

"Oin, Gloin, get a fire going. Fili and Kili water the ponies!"

The brothers groaned in unison and looked towards one another before rolling their eyes and trudging towards the creatures simultaneously, deciding to start with their own. Kili grasped Rebel's rope as Fili took hold of Daisy's and they lead them towards the river's edge, wincing at it.

It looked deadly; it was untamed, ghastly and the whole thing seemed to be one big rapid aside from the edges of the river, hence how breezy it was where they were stood and both brothers were shivering, the sound of crashing stream ringing in their ears. Fili reached down and splashed Daisy's face with water before washing the dirt off of her fur the best he could as Kili convinced Rebel to drink, briefly explaining that drinking water is what keeps us from dying.

They wished they could be somewhere calmer but there was no other water source around here and everyone needed a break so they didn't really have a choice.

_Oh, how he wished they had._

Thorin's pony - Storm - was going to be watered next and the exiled king walked in the direction of his nephews. Storm stood on a twig, the snapping sound spooking the drinking Rebel immensely who neighed in distress and stamped his hooves on the floor as he backed away and shook his head nervously.

"Hey, it's ok." Kili soothed as he grabbed his reins and stoke his nose, brining the pony forward again. It wasn't until Thorin broke out from behind the bushes when the pony fell backwards into the water and Kili screamed his name in terror as Fili dragged Daisy back.

"Kili, do not go after it!" Thorin yelled repeatedly as he rushed as fast as he could over.

_Don't dive after it. You'll fail._

A familiar, grisly voice rang through his mind for the first time in the last month and he frowned, shaking it away as he paced back and forth dubiously.

_You've nearly drowned before._

_And I got out,_ Kili whispered in his mind, his uncle's yelling washing over his head as an echo.

_It would have been pathetic if you hadn't, my Kili. That water was calm; it was an easy mistake. Dive into this one and your weak body has no chance._

"No!" He disagreed out loud before plummeting into the river after the creature before he could stop himself. The moment he hit the icy cold liquid he regretted it as shivers racked his body but he ignored them as best he could as the incessant rush of the river began to take its toll and he felt himself moving. The dwarf had felt the current barreling towards him before it hit him, and when it did crash into his body and throw him under the waters he was soon thrashing inside an invisible prison.

He lost sight of his pony who was dragged further and further away from him and he was starting to think this had been a completely pointless exercise and he silently cursed Yaznug for the pressurising as now he was wildly kicking to keep his head above the watery grave that waited impatiently to swallow him whole, and it was a struggle. When he did manage to break onto the surface for the first time in forever he heaved in a breath as cold water filled his lungs and blood pounded behind his eyes.

He was dragged back under but this time he could see a dark shadow and in the space of a millisecond he knew what it was. Kili grabbed hold of his ponies leg and tensed his muscles, using every ounce of strength that he could muster in that moment to yank himself from the current and over to the pony. He was still under the water though and reached up to cling onto the bare back of his steed, pulling himself into the position so his stomach was draped over the pony but his legs were floating behind him, moving left with the force of the river and he kicked lightly to override the pull of the blue.

He looked to see why the pony was just stuck in the middle of a river and realised that Rebel's reins were tangled with a piece of chipped bark attached to a broken log which was was lying on its side, half of it in the water and Kili winced in sympathy as its distressed whines grew louder. He reached over to fiddle with the situation and tried to unhook it but realised it required tricky fingers which he did not have, and even if he did he wasn't sure he would be able to undo it anyway. He couldn't tell how it was tangled.

An idea struck the archer's mind and he let himself slide down the side of his pony, gripping onto the fur on its side as his stomach re-entered the cold and he took a deep breath before dipping back under. He squinted his eyes and let go of the fur to immediately grab onto the stirrup so he wasn't dragged away. He hooked his boot on the inside of the hole in the stirrup so he wouldn't be pulled with the flow when he let go and hastily reached inside his other boot to pulled out his switchblade.

* * *

Meanwhile, Fili was frantic. An incredulous expression was plastered onto his countenance as he quickly began to follow the water's edge, whipping his head back and forth for any sign of a mass of familiar raven hair. The company were close on his tail, cursing viciously to themselves at the situation.

After about a minute of desperate running Fili laid eyes on his brother's pony and rushed over, observing how the reins were caught on a piece of broken log. He sat on the log and began to push himself along above the rushing rapid and he hoped to maintain his balance or he would be kidnapped by the blue too. He made it to the end of the log where the pony was and thought about what to do. He could hear Thorin yelling his name from the side, not sounding very happy but Fili didn't care in that moment. He looked ahead; the log blocked half of the river but he supposed Kili could have been dragged straight past it in the other half instead of crashing into the wood which made the worry arise in his chest even more.

Fili reached forward to try and detangle the reins from the broken piece of bark when a body suddenly emerged out of the water, startling him into leaning back but at the same time he could have screamed in relief.

"Are you ok?" He asked his brother frantically.

"Yes." Kili answered and reached over Rebel's bare back, clicking the dent on the side of the hilt which made the actual blade fly out and he cut at the strap that was caught until it snapped in two. Kili let go of the cut piece and grabbed his pony's leash before the current could drag it further down the river but he began to realise that he wasn't that strong. Fili too realised this and slid in to assist his brother in holding it back as they clung onto the log, awaiting for the company to turn up for assistance.

"Dwalin!" Thorin called as hurried along the bole before leaning forward to grab the bridle and hopefully haul the creature onto the trunk. Dwalin, Gloin, Nori and Bifur combined managed to haul the pony onto the wood - as Thorin reached to help Fili and Kili - and drag it along until they made it to the actual land, allowing Fili and Kili to release the leash but as the horse had scrambled to get up onto the ledge it's hoof had reared back and kicked Kili in the side of the head who yelped and released the log.

Fili's eyes had immensely widened in panic and he reached for Kili's arm. He found it and wrapped his fingers around it to pull him over but one of his hands was still on the broken log and he didn't have the strength. Thorin noticed this and grabbed Fili's hand off of the wood and attempted to pull the blonde to the side who was still clinging onto his little brother. In a moment of pure horror Thorin's fingers slipped and closed around nothing when he attempted to re-grab and his nephews were gone from his sight. Panic arose in his chest and he cursed in khuzdul, gesturing for the company to run along the river's edge and look for the two.

Kili's eyes squinted as he fought the urge to lose consciousness. He could feel Fili's grip on him as they were dragged messily through the water, forced side to side and up and down with the current. As he kicked vigerously in an attempt to resurface he felt an intense pain on the side of his forehead. Barriers of aqua that surrounded him pushed his body further and further down. He glimpsed a shimmer of sunlight rippling on the water above, teasing him, blinding him, mocking how vulnerable he was at this moment. He felt his head smack on the ground below them and as his panic faded into numbness his heartbeat slowed down increasingly.

Fili felt the relief wash over him when the water broke into something much less violent and more calm where he was no longer being thrown around like a ragdoll wherever the rush of the river pleased. He allowed his lungs to re-fill with much needed air before looking to his left where there was an empty space of blue with no being present there. He had let go of his brother's wrist when they broke out into the calmer waters, assuming it would all be ok now. "Kili?" Fili started to panic. "Kili!" he yelled as he dived under the water and kicked towards where he saw a mass of messy dark hair, grabbing the boy under the arms and pulling him up. The two emerged out of the water as Fili inhaled a much needed breath again before shaking his brother whose head lolled back drunkenly. Fili scraped his hair back and saw the nasty gash and he winced, kicking wildly to the side to get his brother on dry land.

* * *

Kili used careful fingers to stick the plaster onto the little gash on the side of his forehead. He spun around to his uncle who had his arms crossed with a very angry expression on his countenance.

"Why did you do that?" He asked calmly. He hadn't said much since the ordeal until this moment.

"Do what?"

"Kili, it's just a pony. You could _hear_ me yelling at you and you _chose_ to ignore me."

"I just did."

"You just did." Thorin mocked in disbelief. "You just did."

"No I...I guess...I couldn't let...let him...win." Kili had no idea what he was saying and frowned at himself when the words left his mouth. Fili shifted closer to his brother who looked at the ground awkwardly as Thorin scoffed slightly and wandered off to be by himself.

 _I thought I was fine._ Kili hissed in his mind as he absently toyed with his rune stone. It used to belong to his mother and he felt safer whenever it was near, like her spirit was there to support him if something happened. He brushed a thumb over the familiar dwarven runes before startling at a horrible shrieking noise in the distance. The dwarf's head snapped up, a brief shiver of terror jostling his spine until he forced his rapid breaths to calm down and leant back against the stone wall behind him with his eyes closed, Fili eyeing him in concern.

"What was that?" Bilbo asked, confirming there was a noise out there and it hadn't just been a trick of the devils that haunted Kili's mind.

"Orcs." Bofur whispered, removing his pipe from his lips as he observed the hobbit who spun around to face the toymaker.

"Orcs?" He voiced as though he didn't know how to pronounce the damn word.

"Throat-cutters. They'll be dozens of them out there. The lowlands are crawling with them." Nori joined in from beside his friend once he had caught sit on with what Bofur was doing.

Kili's stomach flipped upside down and he drew in the strength to crack his eyes open and glimpse Bilbo's terrified face through the glaze of the fire.

"They strike, in the wee small hours, when everyone's asleep. Quick and quiet, no screams. Just lots of blood." Bofur finished before the duo looked at one another before staring at the ground, low chuckles forming in their throats as Kili stood on shaky legs.

"I'm going to feed Rebel." He whispered before excusing himself from the cave and sweeping around the corner. Fili watched him and snapped his eyes to his uncle's who nodded in approval and Fili was on his feet, rounding the corner after Kili.

 _To weak to stay in the cave, my Kili._ Kili shook his head frantically as tears formed in his eyes.

_"I thought you weren't a mute. I only came to say hello, my Kili."_

_Kili silently snorted. "Ok." He groaned, trying to push himself up from his awkward slumped position. "Please never call me that again."_

"Please never call me that again." he whispered to himself over and over again as he crossed his arms over his chest and sunk against the wall. "Never again...don't..."

"Kili?"

His rapid breaths didn't slow and he stared out into the horizon, wheezing as dark, haunting memories flooded his mind. Fili dropped down next to him and grasped Kili's shaking head, holding it in his arms before eventually letting it go. Kili slowly fell to the side as a lone tear rolled down his cheek and rested his head on his brother's shoulder, his breathing slowing as Fili stroked his hair soothingly.

They sat like this for a long while until finally Fili broke the silence. "You couldn't let who win?"

Kili frowned and pondered his response. A part of him wanted to explain about this...voice. It sounded pathetic, really it did, but he couldn't shake the orc from his head like he had been able to the past few months and he didn't know why. He felt like he did when he was back home, and now once again he was worried he wouldn't be able to shake the voice away.

"Nobody." Kili replied.

Fili sighed. He wanted to ask...no, he wanted to _demand_ that Kili tell him what was wrong but right now didn't seem like the right moment to press. "We should probably get back."

"Can we stay here a little longer?" Kili questioned. "Bofur's probably been terrorized by uncle."

"Probably." Fili chuckled as he nodded his head in agreement. "Probably."


	5. I Was Really Scared

None of the dwarves seemed to get a break from the bad weather. It was more irritating than words could say for most of the dwarves longed to not have to ride as far as to find a cave when all they wanted to do was slide off of their ponies and lie down on the grass around an outdoor fire.

"Mr Gandalf? Can't you do something about this deluge?" Dori complained, taking the words right out of most of their lips.

"It is raining, master dwarf. And it will continue to rain until the rain is done! If you wish to change the weather of the world, you should find yourself another wizard."

"I like it." Kili declared as he looked at the sky.

"Why?" Gloin scoffed.

"It's better for dancing. Also when I, and I'm sure every single one of you was younger it was fun to play in."

"I agree. I myself like a nice rainfall from time to time." Balin stated with a wink to the archer who flashed him a grin before his eyes snapped to Dwalin who was cursing under his breath.

"Mr Dwalin are you ok?"

"What do you think? I have been sat on this stinking beast for years on end trapping through endless amounts of mud that never seems to come to an end!" Kili giggled at the exaggeration, even more so when Dwalin started spitting out curses in Khuzdul.

"I think we broke Dwalin." Kili whispered to Balin who waved him off.

"Nah, he came that way."

Bofur sighed and looked ahead, feeling slightly guilty for what had come to pass the previous night. Thorin had scolded him and he had come to the realisation that talking orc wasn't the best way to go when there was a person near you who had experienced what none of that age should have with the agonizing race of evil.

He had watched Fili and Kili amble back into camp with sad eyes, both looking a little shaken. He had listened to Oin explaining quietly to Kili what to do if the panic like that ever happened again. He had watched how upset Fili seemed, how angry Thorin seemed...it was horrible to think but he truly believed that the Durin line had more reason to hate orcs that most, and would never truly heal from this.

He watched Balin and Dwalin converse with the brothers, also noticing Gloin's way of riding right next to them like a mother hovering over her newborn. Kili had told him countless times that he did not blame him but Bofur supposed if it had been him he would feel the same.

The toymaker was determined to break the seemingly impregnable barrier that surrounded the archer. Not one member of the company was unaware that Kili wouldn't open up, ever, no matter how much anybody decided to discretely try.

A decision clicked into place. "Kili!"

The brunette heard his name and spun his pony around in question. "Yes?"

"Wouldn't mind givin' me some company, would ya?"

Fili's ears pricked up slightly and he looked uncertain for a moment but let his brother ride to the back and join the toymaker without saying anything. "Of course not."

Bofur smiled and looked up at the sky. "It's raining."

Kili awkwardly looked down under his soaking wet hood to hide brewing laughter and nodded in agreement. "I hadn't noticed." When the dwarf spoke no more Kili twiddled his fingers in irritation but spoke in a polite tone nonetheless. "Did you want something?"

"I was just wondering how you are, laddie. The travel, the wilderness, your sleeping...how are yer injuries? That ankle of yours appears to be regaining its strength."

"It is." Kili agreed. "If I flex it it clicks but it's fine otherwise. And I love the travelling, it's a lot better than back home where..." he glimpsed the forest with its gloom, astir with life yet he thought it could be described as austere and sad.

"Where what, lad?" Bofur pressed, and for a moment Kili had forgotten that they were speaking.

"Where I'm trapped in the confined space of home all the time." He changed his thoughts as Bofur sighed, watching the archer look to the left and observe a tweeting bird fly through the bush with a troubled spark flying through his eyes.

"What about sleeping?"

"It's fine." Kili lied. "I sleep on the bedroll just fine like all of you do. Why are you asking?"

"it doesn't take a genius to spot the dark circles that constantly surround yer eyes, lad. I saw the way you reacted to what I said last night, and I was only playing around. I just wanted to say that there is no shame in asking for help. Whether it's about a nightmare, hallucinations, worry about hurting other people..."

"Where is this coming from?" Kili interrupted. "Hallucinations? How messed up do you think I am?"

"That isn't what I meant, lad..."

"Hurting other people?" Kili opened his mouth in realisation and scoffed. "How do you know about Balin?"

"Kili, I..."

"Thorin and Fili _both_ said they wouldn't say anything. Who told you?"

"Well..."

"And you think I'm having hallucinations because I saw the wrong thing and shot the wrong thing? News flash; it was the stupid forest."

Bofur glanced up, hoping that the sudden rise of volume could still stay between the two of them because they had drifted relatively far back from the remainder of their companions. "Lad, I don't..."

"And you think I'm gonna let loose on someone else? So really this entire 'bringing me along for the ride' thing was pointless because I'm burdening you with the worry of being hurt by me?"

"Of course not! i just..."

"So really you're the one that wants to sleep, but doesn't for worry that if you wake up you're going to have an arrow in the leg? Maybe I should just throw the bow into a fire!"

Bofur was startled at the ranting falling from the lips of Kili who appeared to be at war with himself in this moment. "Maybe you _shouldn't_ do that, your bow helps us out on many occasions!"

"Except it hasn't! Maybe to shoot a stupid stag on the odd occasion..."

"On _many_ occasions, Kili." Bofur corrected. "Don't do yourself down."

"Overreacting? I am not overreacting!" Bofur frowned, knitting his brows together as he tried to piece together this interesting conversation. "I'm fine, Bofur. I don't need your help, or _want_ it and I promise _now_ that I will _never_ shoot you in the leg. What's doing me down is you making those assumptions! This conversation has been riveting and I would love to do it never again sometime. See ya."

Bofur blinked, watching Kili gallop his pony ahead of the rest of the company. "I'm scouting!" he yelled to Thorin before cantering away, determined to get as far ahead as possible. _Mahal, they all thought that he was nuts._ They all thought he was having _hallucinations._ The thought made his stomach churn. They didn't understand - none of them did. He pulled up his sleeve and laid eyes on the red before yanking it down in anger, swallowing tears and closing his eyes to let his mind blur back into focus.

 _What in the world...?_ Fili glanced back at Bofur who looked as confused as anybody could be, for that wasn't exactly how he had planned the conversation to go. He had planned for Kili to open up, not piece together his thoughts one by one and make them sound much worse than he meant them to. The blonde spurred his pony forward to chase after his brother but Thorin stopped him.

"Don't, Fili. Leave him be."

"No! he can't just..."

"That's an order!" Thorin suddenly bellowed.

Fili slowed his pony down and the creature met the pace of the others. "Yes, Thorin." He mumbled almost inaudibly. He eyes fixed onto the moving ground and stayed there, hiding the shame of being scolded like a dwarfling. In these moments calling a king by the name 'uncle' seemed wrong, but it seemed wrong to call him anything but that at the same time.

Thorin contemplated riding after his youngest nephew himself but thought better of it, and looked ahead with a sign of exhaustion, wondering how long it would be until Kili's anger calmed down and he returned.

This eventually did happen about twenty minutes later and both close family members tried to hide their relief. "There's a good area for camp up ahead." he called to Thorin, acting as though he had been _asked_ to scout instead of storming off in slightly unnecessary anger.

"Good. It's about time we stopped." Thorin grumbled as he kicked the side of his pony who sneezed before picking up the pace as the company followed suit. Kili locked eyes with his brother who quickly averted the gaze. The archer picked up on his change in demeanor and tried to make them re-catch eyes, but Fili wasn't having it.

He then glanced at Bofur, feeling utterly embarrassed and culpable, who still rode at the back and was trying to avoid eye contact but when Kili did manage to catch it the toymaker's natural charm took its toll and he offered a smile which Kili guiltily returned.

When they made it to the outcrop that Kili had been talking about everybody began to dismount. Thorin began barking out orders before sauntering into a corner with the wizard. Fili and Kili both simultaneously groaned at their instruction but nonetheless began to lead the ponies into the near woods, far enough that they were alone and out of sight but not so far that if need be they wouldn't be able to run back for help.

"This is boring." Kili observed as he lead the final pony into their area.

"Mhm." Fili agreed.

Kili tilted his head in concern. "Hey are you ok?"

"I'm fine." Came the swift answer.

Kili frowned. "Did something happen?"

"No."

"You can talk to me, you know."

"But you can't talk to me." Fili concluded, throwing the reins onto the floor in a huff. "Great."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"You got kidnapped by an _orc._ I understand that it must have been awful and it is my job as the older brother to help you through it but you're not telling me _anything._ How am I supposed to help you when I don't know what you're feeling? I've failed enough."

"You haven't failed me at all, what the hell are you talking about? The reason I'm alive is you!" He frowned when Fili fell silent and opened his mouth again. "Fee, what is this about?"

"Look, Thorin tries to stop me doing what I want to be doing. When I found out that you'd gone missing it was just after uncle started separating our training and...I was really angry at him because if we had been together I could have protected you and he made me wait for so long which is why I left without him, and I knew what you were up against because he had told me about Yaznug before and what he did to F...um, I just...I was really scared and I remember wondering if we would have another Christmas together." Kili blinked and looked at the floor as Fili inhaled and shook his head. "I'm sorry."

Kili wrapped his arms around his brother and both sank down to lean against a tree. "I'm sorry you were so scared." Fili gripped his brothers arm too, unable to believe how grateful he was for the fact that they had been able to celebrate that christmas together. "But that's behind us now."

"But it's not, is it?" Fili asked. "You just galloped away and I'm sure it would have been because of Bofur asking how you were fairing...me and uncle fought because he stopped us from being together and that's what caused the incident to happen. I've told you what's wrong now please just tell me."

Kili shook his head. "If there was something wrong I would."

_His voice isn't taunting me. His voice isn't taunting me. His voice isn..._

"There _is_ something wrong."

_His voice isn't taunting me._

"It was horrible." Kili admitted. "And I'm scarred for life because of it and he hurt me and I was terrified but you came. And we're here." He looked around and slapped his hand against his thigh as he gestured to the ponies. "That's all."

_His voice isn't taunting me._

"Promise?"

"Promise." Kili looked back at the ponies in the slight realisation that there had looked to be less when he had looked before, and something itched at the back of his mind that something was off. "Where's Daisy?"

"Probably behind the others." Fili answered, counting the ponies in his head. "I'm sure she's there, I mean where else..." He knitted his brows together in alarm when he came to the conclusion after three recounts that there was only fourteen ponies.

Both simultaneously slid off of the log that they were seated on and each step they took was in painfully slow unison and their stares did not move from the spot that they were fixed on. They came to a halt, side by side in a position where they would be able to see every single pony if they were to be there.

They barely heard the footsteps that approached behind them.

Bilbo now stood in between them with two bowls of steaming stew in his hands, holding them out to the brothers, one for each who made no move to take them back. "What's the matter?" The hobbit asked when no one moved to take his offering.

"We're supposed to be looking after the ponies." Kili voiced, still staring at the same spot that he had been staring at for the last two minutes.

"Only we've encountered a slight problem..." Fili continued, shifting faintly to look at Bilbo.

"We had sixteen." Kili added to the information.

"Now there's fourteen." Fili finished.

* * *

"Daisy and Bungle are missing." Kili confirmed as they finished their search.

"What? Well, that's not good. And that is not good _at all._ Shouldn't we tell Thorin?"

"Uh, no. Let's not worry him. As our official burglar, we thought you might like to look into it." Fili spoke quickly, not wanting to anger their uncle anymore. He seemed mad enough, though the blonde supposed a lot of it was because he was stressed and took his anger out on the little things that irritated him.

"Well uh...it looks as if something big uprooted these trees." Bilbo observed as his eyes scanned the area.

"That was our thinking." Kili agreed politely though a part of him wanted to scoff at how obvious that was. The trees were sprawled over the floor from being knocked over, for mahal's sake!

"It's something very big." Bilbo continued, pleased that he appeared to be on the right track. "And possibly quite dangerous."

"Hey! There's a light!" Fili said as he caught sight of a glimpse of unnatural brightness through the trees. "Over here! Stay down."

"What is it?" Bilbo questioned nervously.

Kili squinted his eyes and when he laid eyes on a giant leg he knew exactly what they were up against. He vaguely remembered escorting some merchants from Ered Lurin and crossing paths with these monsters. They were stupid, gullible creatures but their larger size was what made them scary. "Trolls." He hissed through clenched teeth before jumping over the broken log and tearing through the trees after Fili. Bilbo moved to follow, turned back around, grabbed the two stray bowls of stew and ran after the brothers.

The ground seemed to rattle with the weight of two stomping feet as the screeching of distresses ponies echoed through their ears and their eyes snapped to the right. They watched in horror as a giant troll tried carry his own mass, along with a pony in each arm who were being jostled with the rhythm of his stomping.

"He's got Myrtle and Minty!" Bilbo exclaimed. "I think they're going to eat them, we have to do something!"

Kili grinned to himself and peered out at the creatures. "Yes, you should!" He said as he stood up and put his hands on the hobbit's shoulders who immediately began to protest, holding up a finger like a math tutor telling their student that they 'should never write the title before the date' but Kili persisted. "Mountain trolls are slow, and stupid, and you're so small they'll never see you!"

"Me? Me? No. No. No." Bilbo continued to act like Balin, being his technical self, correcting somebody.

"It's perfectly safe! We'll be right behind you."

"If you run into trouble hoot twice like a barn owl, once like a brown owl." Fili instructed as he made the final push to drive the hobbit into the danger area.

"Twice like a barn owl, hoot twice like a brown…hoots like a…like a… Uh, are you sure this is a good ide...?" He spun around, looking at the empty space with an eye roll before turning back to the terrifying task at hand with a curt nod to himself, wondering why he was always the one pushed into things that he most certainly didn't want to be involved with.

* * *

"Do you ever wonder if our lives are a dream?" Ori wondered as he leant his head back against the trunk, Dori filling up their drink flasks. "One day we'll wake up and realise we're dead?"

Dori scoffed. "No." He flicked his brother on the arm. "Feel that?"

Ori swatted him away. "Of course. But I could be dreaming that I felt it."

"I know what you mean." Dwalin mused as Ori blushed slightly, usually afraid of the older, hunkier dwarf with the giant axe. "Maybe we're in a coma."

"Or unconscious." Gloin added, suddenly stroking his leg to reassure himself that he was really there.

"Maybe..."

"Thorin?!" A startled voice interrupted them and the dwarf in question snapped his head up at the alarm in the noise source. A body tore through the bushes and clutched his knees, breathless after his intense sprint which he made in record time.

"What is it? Where is Kili?" Thorin demanded to his eldest nephew who repeatedly blinked.

"Kili's fine - it's Bilbo, there's..."

"Spit it out!"

"Trolls! They came down the mountain and snatched some of the ponies; I told Kili to watch Bilbo who went in to try and free them but they saw him."

"Blasted hobbit." Thorin cursed acrimoniously. "He is going to get himself killed! Grab your weapons. Lead the way, nephew, and make haste!"

Fili nodded and did just that, the company following swiftly as worry for their burglar secretly gnawed at their hearts. When they arrived in about a minute Fili was surprised to find Kili nowhere in sight, and even more surprised to finally glimpse him through the torn bushes with his sword out, staring defensively at a bunch of three giant trolls who looked down at him as if they had never seen a dwarf before.

He felt a surge of pride at the same time as feeling a jolt of annoyance that Kili hadn't listened to his strict orders to stay put and instead had acted recklessly, but he supposed it was a little late to dwell on the matter and instead should focus on what the actual plan was. He glanced at Thorin who was craning his neck over the bush to get a better view of the situation. The exiled king murmured something demanding audibly enough for his companions to hear and none of them needed to be told twice, shown by the fact that the moment that Bilbo was hurled at Kili the dwarves of Erebor burst out of the trees, swords raised and ready to battle.

* * *

**Shorter than I wanted, but the next one is very long and it gets a lot more exciting than this one and the point of the story picks up with a lil twist :)**

**Poor Bofur...he was only trying to help! Also poor Fili, but he seems to find it easier to let people in on his feelings than Kili hehe.**

**The next one will be up in a couple of days cuz my updates seem to be taking weeks at the moment as I am very busyyy! Hope you enjoyed!**


	6. I'm Not Stupid, Thorin

The incident with the trolls had resulted in a tension that had never been in the camp before. Everyone was slightly shaken from the battle and stayed relatively quiet, unlike the usual rowdy atmosphere that everyone honestly preferred.

The hobbit squared his shoulders confidently and strolled over to the blonde who emptied out his bottle with a grimace at the water's filth. "Fili?"

The blonde's ears pricked and he peered up at the mention of his name. "Yes, master hobbit?"

"I wanted to thank you...for not leaving me to be eaten by the trolls earlier. I honestly thought you'd grabbed the stew and ran for the hills!"

Fili laughed at the thought and shook his head. "Anything for you, Bilbo. We may not act like it but we are loyal to our kin and because you are now one of us we would never leave you to be eaten by the trolls."

Bilbo placed his hands in his pockets and nodded. "Appreciated. I wanted to thank your brother too but he appears to be asleep."

Fili blinked his eyes in surprise. "Kili's asleep?"

The hafling nodded and pointed to a tree. Fili couldn't see Kili's face but he could tell that his brother was looking down and ambled over in wonder. "Kili?"

The brunette looked up expectantly from where he was scratching at his bow with a sharp stick, carving in more dwarven artwork. "Mhm?"

"You're awake. Bilbo thought that you were sleeping."

Kili grinned. "Who sleeps in the day?"

"Some people." Came the unhelpful answer to the rhetorical question "He wanted to thank us for not leaving him to be troll bait."

"He's surprised about that? We're actually really loyal to kin and he's basically one of us."

"That's what I said." Fili agreed, glancing over to Bilbo who appeared to be a cross between amused and irritated as Ori rambled on at him about something or another to do with scribing.

"Hey Ori." Kili called to the dwarf who turned to him questioningly as Bilbo seized the opportunity and crept away, Fili resisting the urge to chuckle at this. "Come and help me, you're good at art."

Ori eagerly scrambled over and did just that, Fili and Kili watching in wonder as the latter's bow transformed into a piece of art, wood carvings now beautifully doodled up the limbs.

* * *

It was three days after the troll incident now and the company stood, frowning at another member of the wizard world although he was a lot more strange than Gandalf and chattered on in worry about something or another that nether Fili nor Kili understood a word of. Kili grinned down at the bunnies that tugged the strange sled that Radagast seemed to ride and bent down to pet them. He was annoyingly interrupted though when a howl in the distance pierced the air, resulting in everybody turning in trepidation to suss out the source of the sound as Bilbo felt his heart raise in panic for a moment. "Was that a wolf?" He questioned with wide eyes, looking around his companions for an explanation. "Are there...are there wolves out there?"

"Wolves? No, that is not a wolf." Bofur whispered, looking dreadfully behind him as if knowing that the warg was about to leap out from where it did, right over the top of his head. Kili heard the yell for him to use his bow and shot blindly, thanking mahal when it knocked the creature to the ground in readiness to feel the death that Dwalin's axe provided. He supposed that he should start using his eyes more; they were sharp, the sharpest in the company, yet he had still managed to shoot his old tutor in the blasted leg!

"Warg scouts!" Thorin growled, feeling the urge to bolt there and then. "Which means an orc pack is not far behind." Kili raised a doubtful eyebrow when Fili took a direct step in front of him to block him from any more danger and found himself side-stepping slightly to see the commotion.

"Orc pack?" Bilbo echoed in confusion.

"Who did you tell about your quest, beyond your kin?" Gandalf asked, rounding on Thorin as he ignored Bilbo's addled question.

"No one."

"Who did you tell?" The demand was hot this time.

"No one, I swear!" Thorin repeated, looking around as dread bubbled in his stomach and he lowered his voice, taking a step closer to the irritated wizard. "What in Durin's name is going on?"

"You are being hunted." came the blunt response.

"We have to get out of here." Dwalin said, an edge of urgency laced through his tone.

A loud rustling in the leaves above them caught their ears and they turned around to face Ori when his small and desperate vocals added to the conversation below him. "We can't! We have no ponies! They bolted!" The dwarf informed them frantically as Kili rolled his eyes at their luck.

 _Luck._ he thought bitterly as images of Balin falling to the floor with an arrow in his leg entered his mind. _I've had enough of luck._

"My sword is on Rebel." He suddenly hissed to Fili who widened his eyes in alarm. "Half of out supplies are on that pony!"

"We can't find him now!" Fili answered sharply.

"Great. I'm swordless." Kili confirmed as he crossed his arms in a huff.

"I'll draw them off." Radagast spoke up confidently, Fili and Kili both narrowing their eyes doubtfully at him.

"These are Gundabad wargs. They will outrun you!" The grey wizard told him as if reading the mind of the brothers.

A wave of determination washed through Radagast as he shot out his response confidently. "These are Rhosgobel rabbits!" There was a moment of silence as everybody tried to figure out how that helped them in any way. "I'd like to see them try."

So they were running. The wizard at the front of the line that had somehow formated didn't tell them where they were going or what was happening, even when Thorin pressed on the matter and so Kili concluded that it was something his uncle wouldn't like to hear.

Ori was yanked back from running into the plains in readiness to be trampled on by the hurriedly approaching wargs who fell for the trick and chased Radagast around the plains as said animal-lover threw his head back in rhythm with his laughing as he spurred his rabbits forward by the reins, like a bunch of wild horses running away from a gang of terrorists through a market.

Kili was surprised at Bilbo's ability to keep up; maybe Gandalf had brought him for a reason. For mahal's sake, he had shorter legs that his kin! And that was saying something.

They sprinted across grass, ducked under the rocks, all the while following the blasted wizard.

After not five minutes they found themselves in a sticky situation as they knelt in front of a large rock, keeping up the tense and eerie silence to avoid having the warg above them, who had already caught their scent and was sniffing the air, pounce and rip them into shreds. Kili stared ahead in terror until he felt Thorin nudge his arm lightly and he turned to his uncle with questioning eyes. He indicated with a slight dip of his head to Kili's bow who felt dread fill his heart. He silently slipped an arrow out of his quiver and lay it on his bow.

_Just don't._

Kili blinked.

_You know you'll fail._

He shook his head and ran out, lifting the bow up and releasing the arrow. It hit the warg square between the eyes, knocking it down the bolder. Kili smiled in relief; he had been certain that he was going to miss that shot.

However, another arrow still wasn't enough to kill it's orcish rider who had the guts to squeal loudly, hoping to alert the rest of his army until his impending doom came when he was overpowered by the hasty dwarves.

Gandalf yelled at them, dragging them away from this area and to a known location but their legs didn't appear to be fast enough for the wargs were right on their tails before they could arrive at the place that Gandalf wanted them to.

"There's more coming!" Fili shouted to his uncle over the noise of the havoc as Thorin glanced at his other nephew.

"Kili!" he called. "Shoot them!"

The archer drew his bow and released an arrow which hit it's mark with ease. He smiled slightly, ready to slip out another one when a sudden and unwelcome voice rang through his ears like a nightmare that he couldn't shake away.

_Don't bother. You just tried and managed to endanger your kin even more because you couldn't kill two simple beings. Don't bother. Why bother? You'll just embarrass yourself._

Kili's bow dangled on the edge of his fingertips as he stared ahead at the wargs sprinting in his direction with no expression whilst he comprehended everything that Yaznug was telling him.

"For pity's sake, boy!" he was snapped out of his daze by Thorin's hand grabbing the bow forcefully from his own before pushing him to the side as he began to ready an arrow. "Useless!"

Kili frowned at him, beginning to realise that he didn't cope well in the state of frenzy. Thorin only ever used a bow in the most dire of situations.

 _Mahal!_ he instantaneously realised in alarm. _I got us into this dire mess!_

_You sure did._

"Leave." Kili demanded out loud, startling when Dwalin cocked a confused eyebrow at him before shoving him to the side.

"Yer not helping, laddie!"

_Incompetent. Honestly._

"Fight them!" Dwalin pointed to the approaching orcs who seemed fixed in going Kili's direction. The archer sighed in defeat, wishing somehow that he could go back in time for a few minutes before reaching for his sword. His eyes widened in alarm when his fingers did not curl over the sheath that was normally there, only air, the realisation that he possessed no weapon re-entering his brain.

"Kili!" The familiar voice of a fat cook entered his ears and said dwarf chucked an object at Kili's chest who barely managed to clutch it before drawing his ladle. Kili raised an eyebrow at Bombur and stared at the frying pan in his hands before looking up as the four orcs that had been approaching him drew their swords with sneers.

"What do I do with this?!"

"Kill 'em!"

"That helps." Kili grumbled to himself as he stared blankly at the item, until he randomly felt another voice offer the help that he needed from inside of him. This one wasn't the usual; it was a woman's voice, softer and soothing.

_Be confident. Fear nobody._

He glanced at the frying pan in his hands before looking back and ducking a blow, hitting out with it to knock an orc to the ground. He slashed at another, knocked the sword out of its hands so it was de-armed before bashing its back to make it collapse. The third one was easier and he blocked it's attempted slash at his chest and whacked it in the head and then kicked the forth one in the shin and slashed upwards to hit it in the chin and it fell backwards onto the floor on top of the others. They were now in an unconscious heap.

He laughed and swung the frying pan around his finger. "Yes!" A hand grabbed his arm and he was yanked sideways. "Or no?"

"Kili, focus!" Fili yelled as he pushed his brother behind him and drew his sword. "You need to shoot them!"

"I don't have my bow!"

At that moment a creature swam into view in the near distance who galloped towards them at an alarming speed, and when Kili saw who it was he opened his mouth in gratitude at the loyalty of his pony. "Rebel!" He should have known the pony would tear away from the others and sniff him out; when he had gotten the horse Kili had attempted to boost his confidence as he only seemed to eat and sleep when Kili was around. The archer wondered if it was because he had saved it's life when it was young, and having done it again the other day the horse probably didn't know what to do if his owner wasn't present. That is why Kili hadn't left him in the safety of the Blue Mountains; he had been certain Rebel would come in handy.

"Why not?" Fili asked, barely noticing the newcomer.

"Bec...look out!" Fili barely managed to duck the fate that a bunch of knives chucked in his direction would have offered him. He inhaled in horror and glanced at Kili who sighed in relief before turning to the horse who was finally next to him to grab his sword.

The blonde watched him before spinning around to look for his uncle and ask about the plan, but irritatingly found him to be gone. "Where the hell did he..." Fili began to mutter before drawing his sword as the orcs were only a few meters away from him at this moment.

Kili fumbled through the bags in a panic, grabbing at the hilt of his sword once he found it. However, he found it slipping out of his hands when a cry of nothing but pain emitted the lips from somebody familiar behind him. "No!" he yelled, parting his own lips at the wargs and orcs who sneered, surrounding his brother like a piece of meat that they were about to scrap over.

What sucked, however, was that he wasn't a piece of meat.

Fili stood, savoring the pain of the knife wound in his shoulder in slight shock and he stood there for a moment, motionless, swaying, until the realisation hit him that he was in the middle of a major combat and attempted to open his tightly shut eyes, only to see a bunch of huge black dots sizzling, changing size and direction right in front of him. "Fili!"

Kili began to panic when he received no answer, whipping his head around to figure out where in mahal's name help had gone, where the wargs were and what to actually do. The wargs still alive were closing the distance between the two fairly far apart dwarves, riders holding out their weapons threateningly as they sneered, baring their rickety teeth.

After spotting a bunch of trees in the distance with his good eyesight, a decision clicked into place; a reckless, foolish decision, but a good one nonetheless which could potentially get them all out of this alive. With a fresh wave of determination, Kili's left foot got stuck in the stirrup and he effortlessly swung his other leg over the saddle and smacked the horse on the side who took it as the correct indication to ride.

"Over here!" he yelled as the wargs turned all attention towards him and began to chase after him, just like he wanted. He could feel Rebel starting to trip over his hooves at the speed of his legs in that moment but Kili supposed that if they all got out alive it wouldn't matter. He swerved the corner around a hill and rode around it as the wargs struggled to maintain the balance to turn without falling into one another in the process. He could see the forest that he had been eyeing up ahead and decided to go straight in that direction. This decision paid off immensely for he kept on turning corners on the way in an attempt to lose the wargs which didn't succeed but it knocked them off balance and trail a few times so that they were forced to regroup and recharge again and he had, by the time he was the entrance, created a bit of distance.

This meant, when he saw a branch about his height he could easily grab it with two hands and yank himself up and around it in a circle as Rebel continued to run straight. "Go in a loop!" He yelled at his pony though he was fairly certain that the creature couldn't understand the common tongue, only pony language which he did not know how to speak. However, he did know of the cleverness of his pony and was aware of the fact that he had left his own kind just to see if Kili was ok. The wargs all paused at the edge of the forest and scattered through the trees in different directions, trying to sniff out the suddenly disappeared dwarf whose back pressed into the tree base as he sucked in, trying his hardest not to be seen.

Kili was grateful that he hadn't been spotted and decided that when he wasn't teased about it, the agility that he possessed was helpful for he could leap to heights that nobody could reach. He stood in a crouched position on the thick branch that he had originally leapt into and held the thinner one above it, squinting his eyes through the trees in an attempt to spot his pony, hopefully on return by now.

_If he hasn't been killed._

"No." Kili whispered, shaking the thoughts from his mind as he shifted to get a better view of the path. "Rebel, please..." After about two minutes the worry stirring in his stomach had grown immensely and because the wargs hadn't returned he was about to hop down and tear the forest apart looking for the faithful creature until he heard the familiar neigh of the horse who tore through the bushes as Kili beamed in delight and jumped down, landing on the saddle.

He leaned forward, lying his head on it's neck as it trotted from the trees and back out onto the plains where the suddenly calm breeze hit them softly. "We did it." he whispered, the happy thought in mind until...

_Fili's dead, you failure._

"No he's not." Kili hissed to himself, choosing not to believe what he didn't want to.

_He's in a better place now._

Kili angrily slapped his forehead and glared daggers to nowhere in particular, though mainly the grass leading to where the fighting had been happening where a bunch of elvish arrows now lay, sticking out of the ground.

 _Maybe this is a good thing,_ he thought to himself with a grin. _Some elves came and killed them all._

_Finishing off the work that you failed to do yourself._

"Oh, shut up." Kili ordered as he stared miserably at the terrain before glancing around for any sign of his companions. Kili spotted a large hole ahead that the company had slid down and sighed, sliding off of Rebel. He wondered if they had gone down there. The brunette soaked in the eerie silence and wondered about whether or not what he had done had been a good thing and slid down the stone, carefully bringing Rebel down with him by the leash.

"Kili!" Bofur's voice entered his ears and he smiled in relief. "Where did you go?!" He hissed. "The others went ahead because Gandalf convinced Thorin that Fili will only heal if we go to Rivendell. He'll have yer 'ead, he was so worried."

"We're alive, aint we?" Kili pointed out, raising an eyebrow as Bofur snorted.

"This way, trouble." The toymaker grabbed Kili's wrist and began to lead him down a dark tunnel.

"They just left?" Kili asked, slightly hurt that they couldn't have waited ten minutes for his return.

"Fili was bleeding out, they left me behind to look for you but I didn't need to in the end."

"Is he alright?" The archer demanded.

"If he gets treatment from the elves, laddie, he should be fine."

Kili nodded and looked back to make sure that Rebel was ok with following along before hastily falling over his feet in the hurry to make it to the elven kingdom. When he saw it, however, he paused in his tracks, breath-taken.

"Impressive right?"

"Completely." Kili agreed, although he decided that he didn't have the time to drool over the luxury and beauty. "Come on."

The two rushed along the bridge, stopping dead when they nearly ran into a group of elves in their hurry. One of them stepped forward; he had long brown hair and a crown. The way he lead the crowd and how he was dressed made Kili wonder if he was important. "Hullo." Bofur greeted cheerily, stepping in front of Kili who frowned up at the elf.

"You're the two late comers." Lindir decided. "Your companions passed through here, with the injured blonde one?"

"Where is he?" Kili demanded.

"Right this way." Lindir swept around gracefully on his feet and began to walk through a large archway. The two dwarves glanced at each other nervously but followed the elf as the rest of his kin enclosed them into a circle whilst they walked down the halls, as if worried that the two would slip away and set fire to the place if they weren't watched or kept in line.

Lindir stopped outside a door and gestured to the handle before walking away. Kili sighed and pressed his ear to the door where he heard Fili groaning and he gasped, swinging the door open.

Thorin, Fili, Oin, Balin and a couple of elves resided inside and flickered their eyes to the door to see who the newcomers were. "Get in here." Thorin ordered as Fili closed his eyes in relief, feeling a great weight fall from his shoulders until he whimpered in pain again.

"Stop." he pleaded to Elrond who shook his head sadly.

"Sorry." He offered, but didn't stop wiping the blood off of the wound and ignored the glares that the blonde was shooting his way. "Hold his legs down." The elven king ordered softly but sharply. Thorin and Kili glanced at one another, both moving forward in synch to grab a leg each. Kili inhaled a shaky breath, not used to the prospect of seeing his brother in more pain than he could do anything about. He began to understand why Fili got so worried when he himself got hurt and had to witness this.

Elrond pressured the wound with gauze as Fili threw his head back, breathing rapidly from the stress but he tried to control the grunts and yelps of pain for he could see the fear in Kili's eyes as he did his task to allow Elrond easy access to cleaning, and wanted to worry him no more than needed.

After about ten minutes Fili was lying still, head pressed into the pillow and eyes closed as he gratefully succumbed to the sometimes kind and sometimes unkind claws of sleep whilst Elrond wiped his hand clean of dwarf blood.

"He will be drowsy when he next awakens because of the pills." Elrond informed them. "But he will be fine after a few days if we continue to watch and avoid any signs of infection."

Kili nodded gratefully. "Thank you."

The elven lord dipped his head to show he didn't mind before swiftly exiting, leaving four dwarves stood in their awkwardly as the fifth one slept. "I'm going to check on the others." Thorin announced, standing up without waiting for conformation and exiting the room.

"He'll be fine, laddie." Bofur assured.

Kili pulled a chair next to the bed, not bothering to care about the squeaking sound that it made when it scraped along the floor before seating himself and finally answering the toymaker. "I know."

"He is strong." Balin added, watching Kili with saddened eyes who nodded.

"I know."

There was nothing more for anyone to say, so they stayed where they were and impatiently awaited for the blonde to awaken.

* * *

Fili felt his eyes crack open, head throbbing in pain and vision blurry. A mass of dark raven hair swam into a view and he smiled, attempting to move his arm and tap his little brother on the shoulder when the figure spun around at the sudden movement, face of a deceased dwarf that he had only seen in the pictures staring him straight into the eyes.

He drew in a startled breath when the person in front of him held up a hand to interrupt whatever sound was about to emit from Fili's lips. "Don't" Came the stern yet gentle voice. "Please don't scream." Fili parted his lips slightly, staring at the face of his dead uncle in horror. "I came to see if you were ok. I was so worried you were going to die."

"Wait...wha...?"

"Don't question either. It makes things so much more complicated than they need to be."

"Why're yer...here..." Fili slurred.

"To tell you that the future is going to end with sadness and death if you carry on lying."

Fili frowned, exhaling deeply as he shook his head at the dwarf in plain confusion. "Huh?"

"You truly care about your brother. If only you would open up to him more." Frerin suddenly mused.

"I don't understand..."

"Neither does he. Don't you get it? You know things that you don't tell him, like about me being involved with Yaznug. And about the branding. He would keep nothing from you in turn if he knew the full extent of why everything happened to him."

"How do you know?" Fili whispered brokenly. "You're not here."

"Because me being left in the dark about the branding is the whole reason that I'm not here. I was told at the last second. That's why I wasn't prepared for it; and futuristically he won't be either."

"What does that mean?"

"It means secrets plus lies equals death." The dwarf answered darkly, glowering at the blonde whose head still lay on the pillow, staring at Frerin in a daze whilst he weakly attempted to converse. The brunette placed his hands on the mattress and pushed himself up before walking over to the door. He then spun around. "You know, you really should do something about Gazal as well. That creature is really starting to get on my nerves." With a final wave he exited the room, Fili watching through hazy blue orbs as the body disappeared down the corridor, leaving him sucked in a world of his own thoughts as he tried to figure out what in mahal's name any of that experience meant.

"What do you mean?" He asked in a hushed whisper. "How do you know, come back!" His voice began to crack as the body in the far distance evaporated in a puff of smoke. "Come back!"

_Come back._

"Fili!" Kili shook his brother's broad shoulders frantically. "Fili!"

The dwarf snapped out of his daze and gasped, whipping his eyes up to meet Kili's dark ones. The archer sighed in relief and collapsed back onto his knees. "What?" Fili questioned wearily.

"I didn't know if you were dreaming." Kili muttered. "You gave me a heart attack. Thorin told me to get..."

"Kili." Fili said sharply in interruption, reaching out to grasp the brunette's hand. "I have something to tell you."

"In a minute, we need to get Oin. He should be outside, Oin!"

"Kili, wait..."

The dwarf ran to the door and swung it open, though it was a pointless exercise because the company healer rushed in at that moment with a bag of supplies and began to work on the blonde, hustling the other dwarves that followed after out when he saw Fili grimace at the loud noise. This excluded Thorin, Kili and himself, something that the two dark-haired Durin's were grateful for.

Fili began to groan as the injury on his arm was aggravated by the tools, the moving and the constant prodding from Oin's finger. He tried not to yell but at one point a louder one bubbled in his throat and he couldn't not release it when Oin pressed a bandage hard to put pressure on the wound.

"It's ok." Kili comforted as he grasped Fili's hand harder who offered a weak smiled. "I'm here."

"I'm normally the one to say that to you."

Kili laughed slightly. "I know - I probably owe you about two hundred million 'I'm here's' but we won't go there today."

Fili chuckled, which transformed into a wince and in response Kili moved to grab some water which Fili eagerly drank once Oin had stepped away after finishing re-dressing the wound like Elrond had instructed.

"Thank you."

Oin walked backwards to the sink and began to wash his hands after having wiped his sweaty brow as Thorin glanced at him in question. "I've cleared the wound. If we re-dress it for a couple of days it will be fine. However, I suggest you put your plans for Erebor on hold for a while. It may give us all a chance to recuperate."

The king in exile nodded, glancing down at his eldest nephew in sadness, noting the worn out expression plastered on his face as Kili sat unmoving by his side.

"I'll go and make sure the others haven't caused any havoc." Thorin finally declared as Oin nodded and the older dwarf excused himself, once again leaving Kili to sit in silence by his brother.

* * *

Thorin re-entered the room in which his nephews resided. Fili lay on the bed, seemingly still fast asleep as Kili sat on the floor against the wall, legs hugging his knees. He looked unbelievably tired, dark circles evident under his dark, pain-filled eyes. Thorin wondered why he had moved from the chair.

"Are you hungry?"

"No." Kili mumbled in response, not looking away from the section of wall he had been staring at for the past hour.

Thorin sighed and seated himself on the untaken chair, finally asking a question that he had been pondering for a while. "Why did you do it?"

Kili blinked in confusion. "To save Fili's life."

"When it could have cost you yours."

Kili's head snapped up, blazing brown eyes meeting confused blue ones. Thorin never knew why, but fear always lingered in the air when he was around Kili. It was like a tiny part of him was ready to yank out his sword in defensiveness from the verbal or physical abuse that his nephew was ready to hurl his way, although he was completely mortified when he realised that he could possibly think this, but it was true.

"Nobody died." He eventually muttered, dropping the anger-filled eyes to the floor.

"You could have." Thorin argued. "You need to stop being reckless; think things through more."

"Its funny because if any other member of the company had done that you'd be praising them."

"But they wouldn't have." Thorin argued. "Because they think logically!" He sighed. "Maybe it was too soon to bring you and Fili on the quest."

"Then leave me here." Kili spat. "Maybe it was too soon; if I'm such a burden..."

"I never said that..."

"No, you've always thought that!" Kili suddenly spoke, looking back in his uncle's direction though this time Thorin could detect a hint of hurt. "Mahal, Thorin, I've heard you talking to Dwalin about mum's death which happened when _I_ was born..."

Thorin stomach churned in grief at the mention of his deceased sister. "What does that have to do with anything?"

"It had a lot to do with the burden! You knew it; from the day I was born. Who can blame you, I killed your sister."

"Kili..." Thorin began, startled at the words.

"Resentfulness has been shot in my direction since then though everybody tries to pretend not and especially after everything that happened last year you think I'm some psycho that is going to kill all of you in your sleep like I killed mum, don't you?!"

"Well I wouldn't put it past you." Thorin barked before he could stop himself as Kili blinked in hurt.

"You've changed; everything is about Erebor now. Don't think I didn't hear you tell Elrond to hurry up in healing your possibly dying nephew because the only thing on your mind is continuing the journey to that stupid hometown!"

"You know nothing of that hometown, Kili. You are dissing your birth right! Erebor is your true home!"

"No, I was raised in the Blue Mountains. Ered Lurin is my home and always will be!"

"How dare you." Thorin hissed as he stood up, locking his shoulders as he turned threateningly onto Kili who didn't even look frightened. His expression alone would usually be enough to make Ori hide under his bed, or Dwalin flinch.

"How dare _I_?! How dare _you_ tell _me_ off for saving my brother's life! I didn't see you do anything; in fact, _you_ were all cowering down the hole when you _saw_ the orcs rounding on me and Fili!"

" _You_ endangered his life!" Thorin fired back. " _You_ didn't have the guts to shoot a damn arrow at those orcs and made _me_ take over when that is _your_ job, and _your_ job alone! And if the shots that you had attempted hadn't not killed the warg and orc on the bolder none of the others would have been alerted!"

"I'm sorry!" Kili yelled, not noticing the blonde shifting in disturbance at the noise level from inside his bed. "I'm sorry that I didn't manage to kill that monster and I'm sorry that you seem to have a hard time believing that I can lose a couple of wargs!"

"I do have a hard time believing it because you don't look, your not careful, you don't think before you do! And the one time we need you you can't seem to provide assistance! I worry about your safety more because other members of the company actually have the logic to think!"

"I was careful!" Kili snapped. "I made sure they didn't get me!" There was a long, eerie, painful stretch of silence as Thorin crossed his arms and Kili looked at the ground miserably before muttering four simple words to break it and hopefully make his uncle understand one little thing. "I'm not stupid, Thorin."

The king in exile realised what he had basically just implied and inhaled deeply to calm his fury before noticing Kili with his face buried deep in his hands. He moved forward and did the only thing that he could think of; he yanked his youngest nephew into his chest and let the archer bury his face as he rested his chin upon Kili's head, only noticing that he was crying too when he felt something cold slide down his cheek.

Out of the corner of his eye he saw Fili in the bed, seemingly still passed out which made his heart soar. The thought of his eldest nephew dead made his body want to break down onto the floor in a mess and never stand up for air again. Thinking more and more about it, Kili was correct; why _hadn't_ he been protecting the lad?

 _Oh sister_ he thought as he continued to hold Kili within his arms. _I was never meant to raise children._

* * *

Balin's strides quickened by the second when he heard the raised voices of a king and his nephew screaming at each other. He was expecting to have to break up a squabble; he had many a time in the past, between the two. But this time, when he entered with his advice at the ready, he was greeted by Thorin holding his shaking nephew close to his chest, one hand on the back of Kili's head and the other rubbing soothing circles on his back.

Thorin tilted his head slightly at the noise of the door crashing open by his life-long friend who looked as though he was surprised at the sight in front of his eyes. Balin was tempted to slowly back out of the room and leave the two undisturbed, but he knew that they were already aware of his presence and it was too late to do so.

"Did you want something, Balin?" Thorin asked quietly.

The dwarf in question dipped his head, clearing his throat. "Lord Elrond and Gandalf have asked for us to meet. They say they wish to try and read the map through the moonlight."

Kili pulled away in that moment and looked away, trying to hide the red, puffy eyes from his mentor before smiling slightly at his uncle, shaking his hand to loosen the stiffness that he could feel in his wrists. "Go."

"Will you be ok?"

"I'll be fine. If Fili wakes up I'll get Oin." Balin was saddened; he could detect the shaking and cracking in the brunette's voice although he tried to speak confidently.

Thorin offered a rare smile and nodded. "Try and get some sleep, please. You look nearly dead on yer feet."

"I will."

Balin and Thorin left then, side by side as Kili looked down at his hands. He understood it; he seemed reckless. But as he thought about it he hadn't done what he did earlier because of his childish nature; he had done it because he had seen his brother, stab wound in the arm, and he had wanted vengeance. He had considered being a coward and dragging his brother away, but a voice had pushed him to do otherwise. The threat inside of it told him if he had been the coward he wouldn't have proved himself - he would have gone down the hole having succeeded in endangering them by failing a shot to have the darn wag alert every single other one on the plains, and having been unable to actually release another arrow. It was the voice making up for stopping him releasing those arrows, and giving Thorin something to be proud off.

He just didn't understand why Thorin had to see it as something reckless.

* * *

**My computer legit broke, no joke, and cuz of lockdown it took so long to get it fixed so I wrote this chapter this week! However, it's a long chapter and it took me a while to write anyways. Poor Fili! Also, the bit with Frerin was a dream, he isn't alive but there is a reason I put it in there as he is dead but still plays a huge role in the storyline.**

**Hope you enjoyed! :)**


	7. Of Thunder Battles and Wicked Goblins

Bilbo swept down Elrond's halls, supposing that if he was to be a burglar for a group of 13 dwarves and a wizard he may as well practise his sneaking skills. His mind began to drift to questions like why me? How do I steal something? What does that make me?

His title was a burglar though, and considering that he had now faced orcs, wargs, trolls, rain, about two meals a day if they were lucky and using a piece of tunic as a handkerchief he felt as though he could handle anything.

Remembering Gandalf's words 'but you will not be the same' sent a shiver up his spine as he rounded the corner after checking that there were no lurkers down the corridor. He felt his heart pine with homesickness with that thought and the longing to sit in his armchair by a roaring fire grew until he looked around and realised for the second time that he was in Rivendell.

The tales he had been told about this amazing place as a younger hafling weighed heavily on his mind and to think he was bringing them to life...it was beyond his wildest dreams. He decided that he wouldn't have missed this for the world, despite what he was giving up. The company were often a lot of fun to be around; Bofur was extremely amiable and drowned him with tales of the Blue Mountains and even about the hometown that they were heading to reclaim. Ori seemed shy and sweet, along with his brothers who were the more quiet members of the group. Nori could be pretty rowdy though, Bilbo noticed.

Bifur was frankly confusing to Bilbo because there were times where the hobbit could swear he was speaking in common tongue but half the time he leapt around using wild hand gestures and yelling in Khuzdul so that Bilbo would presume he had been dreaming if he thought the dwarf with an axe in his head was the slightest bit normal. Bombur seemed pleasant enough to speak to until it came to the meals where Bilbo would try not to shoot him judgemental glances as he stuffed a whole buck's leg in his mouth.

Gloin and Dwalin were both bearable, the former slightly more friendly than the latter who Bilbo hated to admit scared him a lot. Both seemed hunky, both had scars and both looked as though if he angered them they would happily snap his neck at any moment. There was something about Gloin though that, even when he glared at Bilbo whilst sharpening his axe, was softer and filled with guilt from something or another that happened in the past. Balin and Oin were more engaging - the eldest of the two had become, what the hobbit might call, a friend.

Then there were Fili and Kili who both welcomed him with open arms into the company despite Thorin's constant attempts to push him away and he appreciated it. They told him tales of the pranks they pulled during childhood and the reactions they received by various others, along with descriptions of what the Blue Mountains was like and Bilbo in turn offered them many a story of his younger life as a hobbit and what mischief him and cousins or friends would also get into. They were pleasured to hear that hobbits had fun, for before they had met Bilbo hobbits were squeaky-clean germaphobes.

His sharp ears caught the sound of voices as he slid smoothly through the halls, interrupting his musings and he found his eyes darting around for a hiding spot. The hobbit bent his knees and crouched behind a plant, peering through the leaves to see Thorin pushing open two double doors with Dwalin on his tail. Bilbo realised that it was the room that his injured companion resided in with his brother glued to his side.

"Fili told me that we need to tell him about Frerin. And about the branding." Thorin whispered quietly. "Said he was worried and was about to tell me why when Kili came back in."

"Is that really a good idea, my friend? Considering he's still shaken. Surely finding out more is a bad idea considering the circumstances."

Thorin knew that he was referring to their journey and nodded. Kili carrying any more burdens would hinder the quest, surely. "That's what I told Fili but he disagreed."

"He's probably still dazed." Dwalin suggested.

"Perhaps." Thorin hummed thoughtfully although he looked doubtful. "I'm going to make sure the lot haven't caused any havoc." Dwalin watched him leave and sighed, moving his head to lay eyes on what he thought was a mop of hair behind some tall, elvish green leaves. The bald dwarf frowned, tilting his head to one side as he stared, silently awaiting for the hobbit to reveal himself.

Bilbo didn't dare move since an unsettling feeling that he wasn't supposed to hear what was just discussed settled in his stomach.

"Laddie?"

 _Dang it._ Bilbo cursed Gandalf silently for choosing him. Yes, he was stealthy, but it clearly wasn't enough. The burglar cleared his throat and arose on shaky legs. "Mister Dwalin." he greeted with a respectful nod of his head. "I dropped my handkerchief and bent down to get it and then you two came and..."

"It's fine." The hunky dwarf interrupted, crossing his arms. Bilbo gulped; Dwalin had always been the one dwarf that he was nervous to be around. "You heard that conversation?"

Bilbo shifted, scuffing his feet underneath him. "Maybe...?"

"Take it to the grave, will yer?"

"Of course." Bilbo responded immediately, offended that his companion could even think otherwise.

"Are you alright, lad?" Dwalin asked, noticing the hafling looking longingly to the left as though he wanted to leave.

"Y-yes, I'm fine. Are you?"

"I'm alright. Why aren't you asleep with the others?"

"They're outside and I can't sleep." Bilbo answered. "It's too dark."

"Don't tell me you're scared of the dark." Dwalin teased lightly. "We've been sleeping outside in the dark a bunch of times now..."

"I'm not scared of the dark!" Bilbo protested. "I just..."

"Just what?"

"Nothing. Why aren't _you_ asleep?"

"That's avoiding my question, lad."

"Well that's avoiding mine."

Dwalin found himself chuckling and Bilbo smiled shyly, stuffing his hands in his pockets. "You need to stop being so afraid to speak to us. Me. I don't wield a dagger in readiness to jab it through your heart, you know."

"I know. I'm sorry...I'm not used to hanging out with forteen dwarves and a wizard."

"Nobody of your kin would be." Dwalin agreed. "Which is why you should take advantage of the opportunity instead of cowering whenever me or Thorin approaches you."

Bilbo's cheeks flushed. "I'm not afraid of you, Dwalin...or Thorin. I'm sorry if I made you feel that way." It was almost true. Especially the Thorin part; he was not, one little bit, afraid of Thorin.

Dwalin offered a curt nod and gestured down the hall. "You need to sleep. Thorin wants to leave soon."

"When?"

"A day or two, when Fili's recovered enough." Came the response as the dwarf began to walk down the corridor.

"Wait!" Bilbo reached forward on his toes and grabbed Dwalin's startled arm, spinning him back around. "Am I missing something?"

"Like?" Dwalin questioned bluntly, raising an eyebrow with slight irritation as defensiveness flared at what he guessed Bilbo was thinking.

"About Kili? I've seen the scar, I cannot lie, its as visible as an acorn in a pile of nutshells!"

Dwalin frowned and Bilbo silently berated himself for speaking in such a manner. "That's not my story to tell, lad. However, I do suggest you ask him or you'll be well confused when some day it all just pours out."

Bilbo nodded, unsure what that meant but he was rather eager to get on his way so he dipped his head again in respect before slipping away, Dwalin watching him leave in slight amusement.

* * *

"Are you sure you're alright?" Kili asked for the millionth time as the duo walked down the corridor. It had been three days since their arrival in Rivendell and Fili was honestly fine, thanks to the beauty of elven magic. He just had to convince his brother of this true fact.

"I'm fine." He responded with a slight laugh. "Thanks to you."

Kili eyed him doubtfully but seeing that there was no blood anymore and barely a wound on his arm, there was no denying that he was truly alright and although he was still cautious, the archer couldn't be more grateful. They broke through two heavy doors at the end of the corridor and into the room situating the company who looked up to greet the duo the moment they heard a slight creek from the hinge of the door.

"Fili! How are yer, laddie?" Bofur, being the first to speak, asked cheerily yet sympathetically at the same time.

"Better." Fili responded, spinning around to collapse onto a couch. "Thanks."

Kili moved over to where the toymaker and his brother were sat and lent against the wall beside them.

"Alright, trouble?" Bofur asked.

"Yup." Kili answered, trying to sound equally as cheerful.

"How were the elven healers?" Oin said, raising a curious eyebrow. "Wouldn't let me in until it was well enough that they thought I could 'handle it'.

Fili chuckled. "Not as good as you. You always give us honest answers; they lie."

Oin nodded. "That's what I hoped."

Kili sagged down onto his knees, handing the frying pan in his hands back to Bombur without even looking at the cook. "Thanks."

"Anytime."

At that moment Thorin entered, closing the doors behind him in readiness to make the announcement that he wanted to without the stupid elf ears of lurkers outside listening. He awaited until all attention was fixed on himself before speaking. "Last night we read the moon runes with Elrond - be stood by the keyhole during the last light of Durin's day. Considering the journey we have left that is actually relatively soon and we need to be moving. However, the elves will try and stop us and so tomorrow morning we shall leave the place with no announcement. I will sort out how in a minute. Clear?"

The company murmured their agreements, smiling at their leader before engaging in various conversations throughout the room. "How come all of your plans work even if they're stupid?" Kili asked from where he sat slumped against the wall with his head thrown back. "How do you know it's a good idea to leave?" he didn't even look at Thorin as he rambled with unimportant questions that ran through his exhausted mind. "Is this a king thing?"

Thorin frowned. "No...it's a brain thing."

Fili watched Thorin walk in his direction, Kili shooting the back of his neck a drowsy look of 'well duh'. "Are you in a fit state to leave yet? Be honest with me."

"Aye, uncle. It's not one of those takes forever to heal injuries because the healers used magic."

"Mm." Thorin hummed in agreement. "I don't trust elven magic."

"Cut them a little slack, it means we can get moving without me being a burden like I would have been if we hadn't come here."

"Fili, you got injured and nobody was there to help. I was too hard on you and your brother about this incident because I should have been there with the others helping you. You are one of my two precious nephews and getting hurt doesn't make you a burden in any way." The blonde found himself smiling as uncle and nephew pressed foreheads together for a brief second until they broke apart and Thorin clasped him on the shoulder. "Please relax before tomorrow."

"I will, uncle."

Thorin nodded and moved away to discuss other important matters with Balin, leaving Fili lost in a trail of his own thoughts. There was no denying that Frerin had been there and he couldn't shake the image from his head. The words swirled around in his mind, weighing him down with guilt for not saying anything to Kili and also worry for the future. Thorin had told him in private after the incident last year what the scar meant and a brief outlining of what had happened to Frerin, but all he really knew was that his deceased uncle had been scarred with what goblins and orcs said was 'branding', making the possessor of the wound belong to the creatures forever.

It was disgusting.

The thought had made him want to hurl and Thorin had warned him not to say anything to Kili, which Fili understood perfectly. He knew his brother would feel shame, with no reason to whatsoever but he would nonetheless. Fili didn't press Thorin for the full description of Frerin's life although he wanted to - Dis was definitely involved somehow, this he knew. He wanted to know why Frerin had been caught, why he was the one chosen instead of Thorin who appeared to be the more obvious target, and why now his brother.

Why?!

* * *

The lightning arrived unexpectedly. It was lethal, illuminating a pathway above which lifted their eyes skyward, bringing even the slowest soul-pulses back into a steady and strong rhythm as the harsh adrenaline rush knocked them from their stance several times. The thunderous boom always called it's warning too late, allowing the brilliant shocks of white to fork to the crumbling ground, intending to flood through any crack no matter how small.

Kili's heart skipped a beat when Ori lost his footing and nearly went for a head-over-heels tumble down the craggy edge had he not grabbed a small area of tunic in the knick of time.

"Oh!" The young dwarf squeaked, turning to Kili with wide eyes sparked with relief. "Thank you!"

"So ungrateful, Dori." Kili hummed when the white haired dwarf turned away and scoffed. "He doesn't like me." Kili them muttered to Ori who giggled in response.

This laughter came to an abrupt halt when the mountain began to disintegrate, thinning the path so they had no choice but to continue and hope it didn't shrink so much that they wouldn't be able to walk. Bilbo had an incident of his own when a stone crumbled beneath his foot and he fell forward with barely time for a gasp, awaiting death for the briefest of moments until Dwalin reacted and grabbed the back of his clothing in an iron-grip, yanking him back to the mountainside to avoid inevitable doom.

"We must find shelter!" Thorin's commanding voice rang out above the shards of stone dropping on top of them and the vigorous rain thundering from the sky.

"Look out!" Dwalin suddenly yelled, putting everybody into high alert when a bolder flew from out of nowhere through the sky and smashed into the mountainside overhead, shattering fragments of stone over their heads.

The wise dwarf with the long white beard noticed something through his aged eyes; a humongous piece of rock, mistaken to be simply that as it was a trick to the eye, straightened away from where it had been to its full height, revealing the features of a stone giant. "This is no thunderstorm. Its a thunderbattle! Look!"

They abided to this order and watched as another large bolder was hurled at another stone giant, knocking it furiously to the ground. Kili grimaced, cowering against the back of the mountain as Fili attempted to sandwich him between himself and the mountain for extra protection.

_Push him away and fall after him._

The archer slipped to stand beside Fili to stop himself from doing the order, his fists unclenching and his shoulders untensing. He focused on nothing but staying put, attempting to block out the voice whilst trying to figure out what the hell they were supposed to do about the chaos erupting in front of their eyes. It was too much thought; he couldn't handle it.

"Like I'm going to fall for your satisfaction." Kili hissed through gritted teeth, the tremendous urge to smack himself in the face or jump in a lake with such cold water that his blood would stop flowing grew immensely. Fili furrowed his brow and craned his neck to see who Kili was talking to.

_Oops._

He was distracted when a sound met his ears and he looked down in horror, noticing the crack forming in between the feet of him and his brother. Kili barely noticed until Fili yelled his name to snap him back to reality, making him yank his leg to balance him instead of plummeting to an unfortunate, painful death down the mountainside.

"Kili! Grab my hand!" Fili's eyes were heartbreakingly wide during the time that he was dragged further and further away from his brother. Kili's vain attempts to reach forward were concluded to be a pointless exercise and he had considered jumping but decided against it.

He adored Fili. There was no denying that, but the time it took his body to control his innumerable feelings by attempting to relax, the gap was far too big to pull off a leap no matter how badly his body protested as it knew it needed to be next to what it was used to being next to.

The same expression that Fili bore was mirrored on his own face when he finally realised what was happening, watching as Fili recovered from the stumble that he had taken whilst attempting to reach for him. The screams surrounding him that the company were emitting bombarded his ears, sending a sharp jolt of irritation through his spine. The noise level was vast, adding heartbeats to his headache and for a tiny moment he felt the urge to smack the poor dwarf who was stood beside him until he realised that this thought wasn't his own. The influence from the orc that haunted his nightmares was getting worryingly high and he knew it.

Fili, meanwhile, had used every possible angle that his eyes could roam to see what was happening to his brother. The mountain that he had been atop came to unexpected life and they all realised rather belatedly that they were travelling on the knees of a third stone giant. It made sense now why they had been separated.

The knee that he was stood on crashed into the mountainside and Fili took his attention off of finding his brother for a moment and onto jumping to another thin mountain ledge when the company decided to openly seize the opportunity to hastily make their way off of where they had been stood.

All three stone creatures began to destroy one another, completely unaware of the other eyes present. One swung a powerful fist and knocked a head off of the other which didn't go according to plan as his own head was knocked off too from another bolder hurled his way by the third one. Fili saw a flash of the other lot when they were swung in front of them, most yelling. Fili craned his neck to watch as they were once more dragged away, this being a huge mistake for when he looked back he was face to face with a mountain.

The death of half of Thorin Oakenshield's company was a scene that said king was forced to watch unfold before his eyes when the mountain that had originally held the lot broke away from the place that it had collided with. His eyes sagged and his mouth dropped open in pain. "No!" He screamed. "No!" He began to move at a rapid pace along their source of path, trusting the rest to follow behind him. "No! Fili!"

His eldest nephew had just recovered from a near death experience and now he had re-lived one, but this time it was for real?! Thorin was starting to feel that the trip to Rivendell had been worth nothing and feared that Kili was suddenly an only child with no parents or brother. That's why, when he rounded the corner and saw his nephew lying on his back surrounded by the fallen bodies of startled yet alive dwarves, he was eternally grateful to Mahal and allowed a sigh of relief to escape his tight throat and pass through his lips.

His group of dwarves barged past himself to lift their kin to their feet. Kili rushed straight to Fili, yanking him up before he began to check him over although Fili insisted that he was fine.

"Where's Bilbo?" Both brother's ears pricked at this statement and they spun around to suss out the happenings. "Where's the hobbit?"

They whipped their heads around frantically, searching for the familiar mop of dark hair. Instead they noticed the pair of hands turning white from the strength it took to cling onto the cliff edge and they rushed over to the hafling who was dangling off of the edge. He wore no expression, clearly too in shock to show any fear. Panicked shouts and desperate reaches began until Thorin scoffed at their uselessness and to show them how it was done hopped off the edge to haul him up, resulting in an unintentional and in a way embarrassing slip that nearly made him fall had it not been for the combined efforts of Dwalin and Kili to yank him back up to safety where he angrily brushed himself off.

"I thought we'd lost our burglar." Dwalin declared, an extremely rare show of relief shining brightly in his eyes.

"He's been lost ever since he left home. He should never have come. He has no place amongst us." Thorin spat irritably, shooting a bitter glare towards the burglar who didn't react though inside he couldn't deny that the insult stung.

Fili and Kili shared a look of pity and both grabbed the wrists of the hobbit to make sure that he followed them into the nearby cave where they began to recover from another near-death experience.

Kili yanked up his soaked tunic, observing his knee wrap with a grimace. The bandage was soaked even though it had been under his tunic and plastered to his skin, making the scrapes marked underneath sting and he knew it wouldn't help with taking off the pressure like it was supposed to in the state that it was in.

"Here." Oin said from behind him, chucking him a new one. "I brought spares - how is it holdin' up?"

"Thanks." Kili muttered as he caught it and began to break off the other one. "It only hurts when I put too much pressure on it. The thingy seems to be working."

Oin nodded with a thoughtful hum, hiding a chuckle at Kili's lack of word knowledge as he ambled to the other side of the cave to sit with Dori and Bifur. All prepared for sleep on Thorin's command who decided that even he felt the drastic toll of fatigue take its hold on him and he needed sleep. When that was the case, he knew that everybody else would feel the same way. He lay down on the stone cold underneath, finding sleeping very difficult despite how exhausted he was. There was something about this cave that he didn't like; something that he didn't like at all.

* * *

Kili opened his eyes when he was on the verge of falling asleep. It was only one small gust of wind but it alerted him and he bolted upright in seconds, searching with frantic eyes aimed at the opening of the cave for whatever danger he thought was there, but there was nothing.

"Are you alright, laddie?" Bofur whispered as quietly as he could but so that Kili was able to hear him. He placed his pipe on his thigh and moved his eyes to look at the figure that he had heard arise in the darkness.

"Aye." Kili answered, sparing a glance to where Fili slept with his head on his arms, seemingly undisturbed. He sighed and stood, moving stealthily over to where Bofur was sat and lay against the wall beside him. "I owe you an apology."

"It's alright lad, honestly. I'm just worried about you. About yer injuries, and about how defensive you got when I was only trying to offer you help. You shut me out."

"I shut everybody out don't take it personally." Kili muttered. "And if I was _that_ defensive to people offering help Fili would be well dead by now."

This made Bofur give a low chuckle. "This is true."

"But I am sorry."

"Me too." The toymaker responded, reaching up a shaky hand to straighten his hat. "I shouldn't joke about orcs. They are most certainly no laughing matter."

"No..." Kili mumbled, eyeing upwards for no apparent reason. "You should be able to without a reaction from me."

"Perhaps." Bofur hummed. "But I truly don't believe so."

Kili smiled, unsure whether to take that as a compliment or an insult but he kept his temper cool. "Where do we go from here?"

Bofur frowned. "I haven't bothered to think about that. I haven't even checked to see if we can continue along the cliff edge."

"Thorin will have a plan." Kili declared with a wave of his hand. "Maybe..."

"Fingers crossed." Bofur chuckled again. Their conversation halted when another figure arose in the darkness, one they could make out when he ambled closer to the light with his belongings in hand. "Where do you think you're going?!"

Bilbo scrunched up his nose in annoyance that he had been spotted. It was going to happen, this he knew for it was nearly impossible for him to sneak out without the person on watch noticing but when he had learnt that it would be Bofur he thought he could make the toymaker understand easier than if it had been, say, Gloin. "Back to Rivendell."

"No, no, no. You can't turn back now!" Bofur protested through a startled hiss.

"You're part of the company. You're one of us." Kili added quietly.

Bilbo smiled a completely fake smile to stop the expression of upset that was bound to take over his countenance if he didn't do anything about it. "I'm not though, am I? Thorin said I should never have come, and he was right."

"Don't listen to Thorin." Kili whispered. "He has no idea what's best for him."

Bilbo cocked his head in interest. "Really?"

Kili nodded forcefully. "Oh, aye. He pretends he does but he really doesn't."

"You're homesick." Bofur suddenly whispered when Bilbo made to continue moving. "We understand..."

"No, you don't! You don't understand, none of you do, you're dwarves! You're used to...to this life, to living on the road, never settling in one place, not belonging anywhere!"

Sadness drained through both the archer and the toymaker rather than skating over their skin and neither stopped it from travelling through every one of their cells to reach the ground. Kili looked at his hand to avoid the hobbit's eye, biting his tongue in acceptance as Bilbo eyed him with moral culpability, realising how impulsive those frustrated words had been. "I...I'm sorry, I didn't mean..."

"No, you're right." Bofur interrupted, meeting Kili's gaze for a brief moment whose eyes sparked with evident upset. "We don't belong anywhere." he looked around and gestured to his companions with a slight scoff; they were in a cave, asleep on only bedrolls after having just survived a thunder battle to reclaim their home that they did not have for it was lost to a dragon with limited amounts of food, water and warmth. It was the essential needs that they were scarce of and they were hard to obtain, yet others in Rivendell came by them so easily along with entertainment, easy access to materials and whatnot, and it was when he realised this that he started to discover the truth in the hobbit's impetuous words. "I wish you all the luck in the world." he said sincerely, clasping the hobbit on the shoulder with a dopey yet sad smile. "I really do."

Kili's eyes latched onto something more sinister; the sword in Bilbo sheath emitted a bright blue light. "What is that?" he asked in alarm as Bilbo dropped his eyes to see what the young dwarf was referring to. When he did see, he felt sick with apprehension and the crease between his brows deeped when he caught sight of something moving through the sand. Before any member of the awake trio could react the spying Thorin was also on his feet, barking authoritatively at his company to awaken which they begrudgingly did, wondering what had their king in such a state but none had any time to truly react for the cracks forming in the ground opened up and swallowed them whole.

Kili let out a yelp of surprise and pain when he collided into a wall and was then ricocheted back into the tunnel that he came to the realisation they had all been falling through.

Further and further down they plumented into the abyss, sliding inelegantly down many a tunnel until they broke out into some form of light and landed in a messy heap on a rough wooden platform enclosed by someone's poor attempt at a railing.

Kili groaned, straightening to his full height as he whipped his head around in a panic, hair splattering against his eyes to blind him. Everyone tried to figure out what was emitting the unified roars and the shrill screeching that all sent shivers jolting down Kili's spine for he knew exactly what raucous creatures were responsible for creating the unbelievable, strident sounds.

The place was also painfully familiar. Flashbacks rushed to his brain and he was unable to keep them away as he recalled the last time that he was dragged through these tunnels by Azog, one that Thorin still believed to be dead no matter how many times Kili told him otherwise, and the crazy way he had escaped which nearly cost him his life through drowning. This area, however, he definitely knew well for it was where had had been dragged in front of the large goblin king in preparation to scar his arm for life.

Goblins rushed forward just like Kili had anticipated and grasped hold of them with iron locks in readiness to begin the process of hauling them forward, knowing for a fact that the dwarves had no escape and were severely outnumbered. Every time one of them managed to knock a goblin away another one would be there with the same grip before they could so much as blink.

There really was no escape.

Fili winced as the injury still present and alive on his arm became aggravated by the filthy fingernails of a hideous goblin digging into his flesh with no empathy nor care, angering the dwarf immensely who in turn kicked back with his foot and caught its shin, adding to the squeals that goblins were constantly releasing. He looked around frantically for Kili who smashed his elbow into the face of a goblin holding him and he could hear the sickening crunch that this move made from where he was stood a good ten meters away. He felt a smile of pride play on his lips. Goblins leant their comrade aid though and yanked Kili's dark locks down, hard, tugging on his scalp and he couldn't suppress a hiss of pain through angry clenched teeth.

The fighting that every company member was doing as they continued to be manhandled down the maze of wood with absolutely no idea which direction they were heading was all in vain. One single move costed them a whip or a smack so when Kili heard the earsplitting, booming voice that he hadn't heard for a year - something that he was thankful for - he only moved his eyes to try and see the king instead of moving his head which he knew would earn him a whip as apparently the rules of goblin town restricted allowed movement by a lot.

The ruler, if he recalled correctly, was ginormous. His size and appearance suited his voice that sung the sickest song, clearly demonstrating their love for torture whilst the company were herded along platforms, bridges and planks until they were stood in a huddle - an unfairly outnumbered mix of goblin and dwarf - at the feet of the goblin king.

_Clap, snap, the black crack_

_Grip, grab, pinch, and nab_

_Batter and beat_

_Make 'em stammer and squeak!_

_Pound pound, far underground!_

_Down, down, down in Goblin Town_

_With a swish and smack_

_And a whip and a crack_

_Everybody talks when they're on my rack_

_Pound pound, far underground_

_Down, down, down in Goblin Town_

_Hammer and tongs, get out your knockers and gongs_

_You won't last long on the end of my prongs_

_Clash, crash, crush and smish_

_Bang, break, shiver and shake_

_You can yammer and yelp_

_But there ain't no help_

_Pound pound, far underground_

_Down, down, down in Goblin Town_

"Kili!"

The archer heard his name once the company came to an abrupt halt in front of a large throne and looked to the left to see Fili staring at him with wide eyes. Panic had surged through his veins when he noticed how traumatized his brother seemed by just being dragged through here and remembered Kili vaguely mentioning there had been a goblin king.

Fili raised his head, mouth dropping open when he saw the creature that sat atop the throne.

It was the most horidious thing the blond had ever seen.

He looked absolutely repulsive; the flabby, long chin and the fat stomach wobbled every time he made one small movement and he wore proudly a crown of bones. In his possession was what one of their race might call a staff, but to the young dwarf it was a stick made out of bones with a poor goat's head atop it.

"Catchy, isn't it?" He asked mockingly whilst hauling the weight that he carried around and climbed uncaringly on a couple of piled up goblins who let out shrieks of pain as they were crushed. He dragged himself onto his unbelievingly large throne and turned around to face them. "It's one of my own compositions."

"That's not a song!" Balin cried out. "It's an abomination!" An eruption of cheers delivered by the dwarves and angry protests delivered by the goblins sounded once that was said.

"Abominations, mutations, deviations. That's all your gonna find down here." he described bitterly as the dwarves were stripped of their weapons that ended up clattered in a messy pile. "Who would be so bold as to come armed into my kingdom?" were the next words that left his grubby mouth. He leant forward, observing the crowd at his feet with hateful eyes. "Spies? Thieves? Assassins?"

"Dwarves, your marvelonce." His little henchman sneered. Kili had been glaring at the goblin king in anger, arms crossed stubbornly until the moment he heard that voice. Realising that he recognized it he glanced over to that area and startled when he laid eyes on Gazal. He hadn't given the topic much thought but had presumed the creature dead from the lack of blood after having completely hacked off its hand. The creature would know him, this Kili knew and so he whipped his eyes to the ground so that his head hung low and his hair dropped in front of his eyes to cover the majority of his face like he wanted.

"Dwarves?" The goblin king echoed questioningly, as though it were a rare occurrence that a party of fourteen dwarves had wound up in his tunnels.

"Found em on the front porch."

"Well don't just stand there. Search them! Every crack, every crevice!" He ordered to his compliant goblins who surged forward to do their appointed task. They crushed Oin's hearing trumpet whilst they were at it and tipped a large bag of Nori's belongings onto the ground, items sprawling everywhere as the thief eyed the goblin who did it guiltily.

One of the goblins handed a specific item to Gazal who studied it with curious eyes. "It is my belief, your great malevolence, that they are in league with elves!"

"Made in Rivendell." The goblin king read once he'd taken it from Gazal. Fili turned to glare at Nori for stealing who shrugged innocently, making the former sigh and look towards his brother who didn't move his head from staring at the ground. This worried Fili who glanced at his uncle. The dwarf king shifted uncomfortably but didn't make himself known, choosing to cower at the back. Knowing that he was present was bound to stir up more trouble than necessary. "Second age. Couldn't give it away."

"Just a couple of keepsakes." Nori mumbled after a moment of silence.

"What are you doing in these parts?" The question was repeated.

"Don't worry lads." Oin strolled casually in front of Thorin, turning to face the great goblin confidently. "I'll handle this."

"No tricks." The king ordered, threateningly slamming his stick on the floor. "I want the truth! Once and all."

"You're going to have to speak up." the healer declared. "Your boys flattened me trumpet."

"I'll flatten more than you're trumpet!" He bellowed as he slid off his throne and started forward towards them though Bofur rushed in front of the lot and distracted him from killing their healer.

"If it's information you want then I'm the one that you should speak to!"

"Mhm." The goblin king paused in his tracks in slight irritation yet curiousness at the same time.

"We were on the road. Well it's not so much a road as a path. Actually it's not even that come to think of it, it's more of a track." he rambled as the goblin king made a noise of boredom. "Anyway, the point is we were on this road like a path like a track...and then we weren't! Which is a problem because we were supposed to be in Dunland last Tuesday..."

"Visiting distant relations!" Dori piped up.

"Some of them are on my mother's side..." Bofur continued.

The goblin's temper and impatience flared when he realised he wasn't going to get the answers he needed out of this one. "Shut up!" He bellowed, lengthening out each syllable to shock them into silence.

He leant back, grinding his danky teeth together as his eyes roamed around his captors, trying to figure out what to do with them. Gazal smirked as he too observed them whilst they stood there in dead silence now, staring up at the king. He did notice that only one didn't look up, instead choosing to gaze at the ground as though it was about to open up and swallow him hole. He almost hoped that that would happen. The half breed squinted his eyes to observe the familiar face before snivelling when it found him to be who he thought, elbowing Grinnah, the goblin stood next to him. The king turned in slight annoyance when Grinnah tried to get his attention from the sides as the goblins began to chatter quietly about what Gazal had found. "What do you want?" He hissed.

The goblin quietly whispered something to him and once he was done the monster lent back in his throne. The company shifted uncomfortably, not sure what was being discussed until they slowly began to figure it out when they realised that all attention in the room appeared to be on one oblivious being who paid no mind to the goblins clinging onto his arms.

The king lengthened out a chubby finger and tilted his head at the archer whilst the company members surrounding him began to discreetly reach out or whisper to the youngest Durin who still dared not lift his head.

"You're the one that caused a flood with every ounce of water that I once owned."

Kili heard this and snapped out of his daze, raising his head to find that everybody in the whole area appeared to be worriedly watching or angrily glaring at him. _Mahal, didn't they realise how unnerving that was?!_ The goblin king leaned forward, impatiently awaiting an answer. "Oh..." he murmured barely audibly as Fili opened his mouth to say something but he honestly didn't know how to interfere at this point. "Did I...?"

"You know we still haven't rebuilt that? You killed half of the goblins in this town by doing that yet still got away with yer filthy little life."

"I don't really recall doing that, so..." Kili whispered in terror, so quietly that the king could only see his lips moving.

"Yer a weakling! It is luck that allowed you to escape alive, not strength nor resolution. I've been awaiting my payback and now I can finally have it. You'll spill the information that I want whilst getting the pain that you deserve!" The great goblin grinned at his own plan, pleased with himself for creating it so amazingly.

Kili glared at him but before he could answer Fili interfered. "Leave him out of whatever petty hatchet your wielding against the dumb fate that your kin deserved."

The goblin king guffawed and pointed to the blonde. "It's not about the fate of my kin, young one. We do well for ourselves down here. It's about revenge!" The king pointed to Kili. "Look at that glare - I do not like it."

Kili shrugged when he could tell the king was awaiting a response once again. "It's just my face. Sometimes it does things without checking with me first."

"Watch your rotten attitude!"

"Watch your rotten face."

Fili stepped forward, silently berating his brother whilst putting his hands out in an attempt to keep the situation calm. "I think what Kili means is..."

"No. Kili knows what Kili means." The archer declared, turning to his brother who glared daggers at him.

"Bring out the bone mangler." The goblin growled angrily, raising his voice as he spoke whilst his fellow workers sprung into action. "The bone breaker! Take the rest to the dungeons!"

"Wait." Thorin spoke up, pausing them in their tracks. He pushed his way through the dwarves so he was in clear view of the king who looked rather amused and excited at this discovery.

"Well well well. Look who it is. Thorin. Son of Thrain, son of Thror, king under the mountain!" he drooled, offering a large bow as Thorin watched him wearily. "Oh, but I'm forgetting you don't have a mountain! And you're not a king. Which makes you...nobody really."

Thorin didn't react to the nasty comment, nor say anything of his own though his mind swam with remarks. He had grown to learn how to keep the word vomit down in these situations, though when he had earlier listened to his nephews he knew that they hadn't. He didn't need to get them into anymore trouble than he knew they were already in.

"I know someone who would pay a pretty price for your head. Just a head; nothing attached." The goblin king brought a thoughtful finger up to his wobbling chin. "Come to think of it I know two people who are fighting for it." he chuckled lowly, leaning forward threateningly as Thorin dipped his head. "Good luck surviving that argument."

"Of whom do you speak?" Thorin growled, the surrounding company members surveying his every move with cautious eyes.

"One happens to be a pale orc, astride a white warg."

Kili raised his eyes from the ground and glanced at his brother who stared at him with an expression of 'oh my lord, you were right' and Kili responded with a 'never doubt me'.

"He is destroyed. He was slain in the battle long ago!" Thorin's fists automatically clenched as he spoke of his old enemy, every instinct to fight awakened within him whilst his blood boiled.

"And you think his defieling days are done, do you?" The goblin hummed thoughtfully, sparing a glance to the youngest Durin. "You." The archer nervously raised his head again although he put on a strong face, deciding there was no need to give the creature the satisfaction by appearing as weak as he felt. "Why didn't you tell your uncle?"

 _I did_. Kili thought dismally. _They never believed me._

_Exactly. Your untrustworthy._

"He was cowardly when I met him, you're malevolence." Gazal snivelled from the side as Kili snapped his gaze to the pathetic lying half-breed. "Probably afraid to be disowned by speaking of such sensitive matters."

The goblins erupted into bursts of laughter whilst Kili's cheeks flushed red with embarrassment. Thorin eyed him carefully, unsure whether it would be a good idea to say anything or deny the fact that Kili was the one they had captured, but considering how adamant the goblins were that he was he knew it would be pointless. He also considered stating that his nephew had told him of Azog still tormenting Middle-Earth and that he had wanted to believe something else more and so argued that it wasn't possible, but deep down he knew a part of him had always known it was true and was too cowardly to admit it.

 _Mahal_ he thought. _I'm the coward._

"Leave him alone!" Fili yelled as loud as he could over the noise.

The goblin king tilted his head. "Are you the brother?"

"Yes." Fili immediately said. Kili stared at him as though he was nuts at admitting such a thing, but he should've known Fili would do this. "If you want to torture somebody then torture me!"

"You see, I would love to." The king began. "But considering you're offering yourself in his place I suppose you don't want him to get tortured. I will be making you suffer more by locking you down to listen to his screams. Get to it, boys."

Fili began to panic as his arms were grasped in iron grips and he began to be dragged away with the rest if the company who all screamed, some for Kili and some at the goblin king. Fili's voice was louder than them all though but he could only watch as Kili's left hand stroked his right elbow, arm wrapped limply across his body as though it were his only means of comfort. He raised his orbs to meet Fili's who had stopped shouting and just stared desperately as he was dragged further and further away from anywhere that he could offer comfort and help. Kili broke their gaze and let a few stray locks of hair fall in front of his eyes so none of the company could see the despair and shame plastered on his face.

_You deserve it._

* * *

**Hi! A lil bit late but I hope y'all had a good christmas and new year!**

**Kili isn't going to get severely injured again in the next chapter because I always find in the 'Kili gets hurt' fics he would be totally dead by the second chapter lmao. To be honest in my last fic he'd probably have died too haha!**

**He will meet one very important OC though!**

**Later ;)**


	8. Branded For Life

A feeling of dread crept up from the stomach of the archer. He could no longer control his hands - they were shaking in an odd, trembling rhythm and as fear crippled him his muscles froze to solid ice.

However, he was not about to give the creatures the satisfaction of seeing him cower.

So he raised his chin defensively which unintentionally aggravated his icy muscles, squared his shoulders and didn't listen to the voice telling him to cry. He controlled his rapidly increasing erratic breaths and faced the king with a glare of pure defiance.

The goblin king in turn lent forward on his throne, staring at Kili. It seemed as though everyone in the area was staring at him, not just the king, which made life ten times more unnerving than it needed to be. What didn't help is they were dead silent which he knew was completely out of character for goblins.

After about two minutes of this Kili grew jittery and fidgety, hence why he decided to interrupted the uncanny silence with a sentence that he never thought he would say. "Can we just skip to the torture?"

"Boys, bind him appropriately." the king ordered, waving his hand to send them into complying orders mode. This was after he finally broke his stare from Kili, deciding what he wanted to do with the brunette. Despite the fun and entertainment he knew he would receive by simply terrorising the dwarf with words, he wanted to know where they were journeying. He had his guesses but he needed the young one to admit it. The dwarf fought pointlessly against the goblins but couldn't stop them from spreading his legs apart and roughly tying him to a pole. His feet could touch the ground but he knew he could only move about ten inches before the chains would yank him back. "Send for Tazal."

"No need." Kili heard a raspy voice say from the shadows of the tunnels. He searched until his eyes rested on a figure emerging from a silhouette into a creature when it came from the darkness. Kili could make out what it was once he saw it properly - it looked a lot like Gazal, just broader and more muscular with more hair and paler skin, more towards his colour than that of a grey orc.

He knew it was another half breed.

"There you are." The goblin grinned, gesturing to the dwarf. "We would like you to do the honors."

Tazal's head dipped out of respect, knowing why he was to do the torture instead of any other goblin or his king. It was his ruler's twisted way of torturing him whilst he abused a dwarf - simple.

"Why this dwarf?" He asked, tracing a hand over Kili's contours who grimaced, sticking out his tongue when a grubby finger was traced over his lip. "It looks not special. Why not Oakenshield?"

"Do as I say, boy." The great goblin ordered bitterly. "And be quick about it, I don't have all day!"

Tazal sighed, flicking Kili's hair from his fingers prior to him walking over to a table not far from where they were and picking up a whip, turning questioningly to the king who scoffed in disbelief.

"Have I taught you nothing, fool?!"

The mix nodded and let it fall from his grip back onto the table to then pick up another deadlier looking one with five sharp bone tails on the end.

"That's better. I want him to release screams, not contain them!" He watched Tazal position himself where he would be able to strike the poor being. "Begin!" the half breed heard the bark and sighed, watching the first well-aimed strike hit its mark. Kili's body lurched forward but he couldn't go that far before the bindings dragged him back. He threw his head back with a big inhale, jaw clenching to stop any screams from escaping him. "Again! And again and again until I can drown in his screams!"

Within the next five strikes Kili's head was forward, eyes sagged to the ground. This was pure pain but in all honesty he didn't feel the urge to scream anymore. He had felt this pain before; screaming made it worse, it wasted his energy. He had learnt this and if he wanted to deny the creatures of the satisfaction of hearing him scream, he would grind his teeth together, sink his head forward and allow the pain to continue with no sound of protest.

After twenty five whips or so the king banged his hand on the side of his throne, ordering for Tazal to stop. "This is boring! He's not screaming, you're not doing it hard enough!"

"Tazal is striking as hard as he can, sire."

"Not hard enough!" The king bellowed. "I've had enough of this, fetch the bone breaker!"

A few goblins wheeled it into view of Kili as Tazal walked over to the dwarf and began to untie the bounds. "You did well there." He said quietly. "Why not scream?"

"I am not giving him that satisfaction." Kili hissed, falling straight to the floor once his wrists were free of locks.

Tazal was quick to haul him up and drag him over to the deadly looking device. "You know that just makes him more angry, right?"

"You know I don't care, right?" Tazal scoffed at the response and threw him into a sitting position on the machine. Kili whimpered in distress, back stinging with pain. "What happens on here?"

The orc tilted his head, tracing a finger along Kili's hips. "Those break." His finger was drawn up to Kili's shoulder within the next second. "Collarbone snaps. Ribs crack..." he trailed off, unconsciously bringing a hand to his own ribs.

Kili took that moment to properly study him; he was in clothes. They looked like someone's poor effort of creating a tunic by stringing furs together, but his arms and half his legs were covered which surprised the archer.

_At least he's not wearing a fricken cape._

Kili then looked over at Gazal who was wearing just that and scoffed in disbelief.

_Caped weirdo._

He began to wonder, since his shirt had been ripped off but his trousers were still on, whether the yet to be discovered bandages wrapped tightly around his waist would hinder the pain.

"I'll do the pendulum first. It's more painful." Tazal informed him, gesturing to the giant ball that hung on an attachment.

Tazal then turned around, noticing the goblin king to be talking to someone he hated - Grunnah. He scowled hatefully at the goblin who he knew secretly despised their king but constantly offered snivels from the side next to Gazal as vain attempts to please him. The mix turned back around to fiddle with the device in preparation for use. When he was ready and the king was still otherwise engaged, Tazal reached out shakily and touched Kili's hair again who pulled away in irritation. "Why do you keep touching me?" He hissed.

"Your hair...your skin, its like mine. You are more like me than you are them, just like he was."

Kili furrowed his brow. "Whose he?"

"Tazal, stop talking to it!" The goblin king bellowed, startling them both into jumping with fright.

"Why don't you help us escape?" Kili tried when the mixed breed went to move and pull the lever. "You could come with us!"

The briefest spark of hope lit up the eyes of his torturer, letting the slightest bit of hope enter Kili's own ones before the orc cast his head down, eyes turning dark.

"No one accepts me outside of this race."

"We will! I promise!"

"People make promise, people break promise..." Tazal told him darkly whilst fastening a rope to the blade area of the device for later use, hoping it would make the king wait a moment.

"I never break promises! One time, I kept a promise to this guy I used to train with and I ended up breaking my leg. I promised I'd jump off the roof of my house onto a trampoline if he stalled my uncle cuz I broke his sword. Long story."

"You fear his wrath?" Tazal questioned with a peak of interest.

"Kinda."

"Who is your uncle?"

"Thorin! You know that." He muttered quickly, presuming the creature had been present when all attention on the room had been fixed on him as the goblins discovered who he was, the other dwarves present at that point. However, Tazal looked up when he heard this and stared at the dwarf, finally recognizing the dark locks and brown eyes and the long, putrid dark scar on the back of the dwarf's arm that he wondered how he had missed. "I..."

The goblin king interrupted with a large, fake yawn and for a moment the two had forgotten he was there. "Tazal, I do not have all day! Hurry up!"

"Must I?"

"That's an order!" The goblin roared. "Do as I say, boy."

"But if Tazal must break his hip then we cannot use the bone crusher on his hips, the hammer will only hit skin." Kili eyes jumped in alert - _hammer?!_ "The bone crusher is much more fun to use." The mix negotiated with his king who brought a thoughtful finger to his chin as he considered the truth in the sentence.

"You are wise, boy...that is why we keep you. I was starting to think you were pitying the dwarf!"

"I pity no one nor nothing." Tazal declared, releasing the pendulum to allow it to strike the target. Kili lurched forward, hissing in pain as what felt like a bowling ball struck his stomach.

"Allow me to wheel in the bone crusher. I will be as quick as I can, my lord."

Kili sagged forward whilst watching the mix leave, surprised yet grateful at how little torture he had endured. The mix seemed to have a little bit of a heart and that counted for something, he supposed.

* * *

Meanwhile, Fili was frantic. He didn't think he could have paced more if he tried. He could see people getting irritated at him, but he couldn't stop until finally Thorin grabbed his arm, yanking him aside to slam him onto the ground.

"Fili! Stop this before you drive me madder than you already have!"

"Why?!" Fili exclaimed in irritation, though it wasn't at Thorin like the king in exile thought. "Why? Why is it always Kili?! They had thirteen dwarves there, including the great Thorin Oakenshield and a rare hobbit, but they choose him! Why?!"

"They know who he is, Fili! This is where he was last time! They're only doing that to him to get to me!"

"Where is our hobbit?" Bofur interrupted before Fili could fire back a retort. The blonde paused and glanced around, noticing for the first time that their burglar wasn't present. Everyone began to mumble as growing worry stirred through the crowd.

"And why is it always Bilbo that goes missing?!" Fili hissed, sagging against the wall in defeat. He was apprehensive and agitated about many things, but what demoralized him the most was the _silence_. At least if he heard screams he knew that Kili was still _alive!_ It felt evil to him when he found himself irritated that the surrounding dwarves weren't concerned about his probably dead brother and carried on discussing the hobbit, so he bit his lip to avoid spitting out something he knew he would regret later. It was not their fault; he had no reason to be so angry at them.

"I think he slipped away when they collared us." Nori spoke up suddenly, not bothering to answer Fili's rhetorical question.

"So he might be able to find us and help us escape." The heir said. "Well that's good then!"

"Or he's dead." Dwalin muttered gruffly as Balin sighed from beside him.

"Always with the negative, brother."

"Well what is positive?" Dwalin barked. "There is nothing _positive_ about this situation!"

"Well..."

"There is nobody here to help us escape!"

"Right, except for this guy." Oin interrupted, gesturing to the cage door where a strange figure stood, waving keys in his hands. Everyone turned simultaneously to stare at Tazal.

Thorin was surprised that he hadn't heard the footsteps of the creature as tall as dwarf, as grey as an orc and as strange as a dragon with three heads. "Release him." The king in exile ordered, grabbing the bars with a bang.

The creature held up the keys in his hand and began to open the cage. "You have to go and see my king, claim you managed to escape."

"Why should we take orders from you?" Fili hissed.

"Do you want to escape or not? That boy in there has pages down for much torture in kings mind, I don't want to cut out your friend's eyes."

Everyone visibly flinched at the thought.

"Give us one reason why we should trust you." Dwalin squared his shoulders at the creature who seemed unaffected by the threatening action.

"If you value your freedom you will do as Tazal says. I helped dwarf escape last time, I can do so again if there's distraction."

Fili nudged Thorin slightly. "Uncle, please..."

"Fine." Thorin agreed roughly. "If you fail, I will rip every part of your skin to shreds, do you hear me orc?"

"I am no orc and that threat does nothing to sway me. Go down that bridge and back up the stone."

The company weren't slow to obey though they were skeptical as they did so, hoping this creature was their ticket out of the vile place, not their disguised invitation to stay for the rest of eternity.

* * *

The goblin king grinned wickedly once his torturer was out of sight, leaning forward in interest on his throne. "So, little one, did he succeed in getting what he wanted?"

Kili sighed deeply, barely raising his head to look at the tormentor. "You're going to have to elaborate."

"I was there when he gave you that scar, to make sure that he always stayed on your mind. To make sure you understand there is more to come, it isn't over. Now tell me, Kili, son of Dis..." The archer raised his head this time, unsure how the goblin king new who his darn mother was let alone his name, but he supposed Yaznug and the filth in front of him had associated with one another a few times. "How does it feel, to be property of the orcs?"

Kili's dark eyes clouded with confusion and slight obliviousness. His heart twisted in a little bit of what felt like panic when he realised he didn't know precisely what the goblin king meant, though it appeared that he was supposed to and judging by the ruler's tone it would come as quite a surprise when Kili would be unable to join in the conversation as he knew nothing of it. He had his suspicions on what the king was talking about though, and he didn't like it. The archer began to pray to mahal who always seemed to target him not to allow the goblin king to say the exact thing that Kili didn't want him to say. "What?"

"Don't try to fool me, boy. I personally only use one scar, the famous mark of the goblin king! My pathetic slaves have it. Azog never used scars, he found pleasure out of fight and death. But Yaznug is a smart one! He doesn't stop there; he's only selected two in life, and that includes you. Aside his sons, of course. You should feel lucky that he didn't give you the other two marks like he did with the last target."

"Who?!" Kili exclaimed in irritation.

"Tazal has them, and Gazal." The goblin king informed him in his teasing voice with a malicious smile, realising Kili had no idea of the things he was spilling which is the only reason he bothered to elaborate. "Gazal is the only loyal one but Yaznug still finds him a disappointment. He's weak. He had such hopes for Tazal but he hates torturing people - that's why I make him do it! I have some form of hope for that pathetic creature."

_So they are his sons._

_Then who the hell is the mother?_

"Speechless." The goblin king tutted. "Boys, let him down! Tazal will be here any moment."

Kili let them take their holds on him, staring at the ground in trauma. This is what he learned today; he was nothing but the property of orcs. Pathetic, useless, a shame to his kin.

_I am a Durin!_

That mattered no more. Everything was different from the moment he allowed the information to sink in. Did the dwarves all know? He doubted it; if they did know he was branded for life, he was sure they would have burnt him alive a year ago.

Yaznug got exactly what his filthy heart desired - the orc was with him because of one scar. Dwalin had battle scars, so did his uncle - it was hard to see this as any different, but it was! There's were faded, blended in with their skin - his was as alive as he. Pain, dark memories, pure shame and one filthy, unforgettable voice swirling through it to stop it from fading. 

"Stop right there, filth!" Kili snapped his distraught face to look at Thorin who lead the company, Fili close by his side.

"Goblins, pathetic creatures! How did you not see them? Seize them!"

The dwarves were immediately grabbed. They fought their captors in vain, offering punches and unsuccessful kicks but nothing stopped them from nearing the imposing figure of a goblin king. With every step Fili hoped his view would change, that the goblin king and the torture devices would vanish from sight, but much to his dismay, that did not happen.

Thorin whipped his head around, chest tightening in panic when he could see no means of escape. He automatically sought out his friend, who shook his bald head at Thorin, indicating he couldn't see a way out either. Thorin had been slightly certain they had been rescued back there with the creature, but now he suspected otherwise.

"Tazal!" The goblin king bellowed to the half breed who re-appeared through a tunnel, wheeling the machine he had gone to fetch. "What took you so long?!"

"Tazal went to get a different hammer, my lord. It wasn't brutal enough."

"Well bring it up front. We now have an audience." he sneered. "What was your plan? Escape my dungeons to do what?"

When the company stepped onto the platform they were greeted with this question though nobody bothered to answer.

Fili whipped his eyes around for Kili and when he saw him his heart deflated - he looked so defeated. He didn't look to be in bad shape physically, he was shirtless but Fili couldn't see his back. He looked so mentally exhausted and didn't even bother to look up, allowing the hair to continue dangling over his eyes.

"Tazal, get to it!"

"Leave the boy alone!" Thorin exclaimed. "He's done nothing to you."

"He's done a lot to me." The goblin king retorted. "He destroyed my water room, including the aquaduct, and he didn't scream to satisfy me! And it is by law he belongs to us, not you."

"He is not property to be owned by anyone." Thorin growled, worried the goblin king would explain things that he did not want Kili to hear. If only he knew it was far too late for that.

"Oh but he is." The king argued, reaching forward to grab the young dwarf from the floor and haul him forward. Kili struggled but couldn't stop the king from twisting his arm for a crack to sound, revealing the back of his arm where the putrid scar was marked for life. The company yelled shouts of protests, trying to escape the iron grips on them but all attempts were pointless. "You all know what this is! I planned to deliver him to Yaznug, where by law he belongs, but I see what he sees in this young one and maybe I should just keep him here. Add him to my slave collection of goblins."

"You will do no such thing." Thorin growled. "He belongs to us."

"Azog will want him too." The goblin mocked as Thorin's glare darkened furthermore at the mention of the orc.

"This is a mockery." Dwalin hissed. "Kili is not owned by anyone of you! Only us!"

"You know nothing!" The goblin roared.

"Excuse me!" Kili exclaimed, all eyes in the area flicking to him. "I am not a prize for you to win! Any of you." He shot a bitter glare towards his guilty looking uncle when he added the last part.

The goblin sneered, eyeing the pathetic dwarf doubtfully. "Oh really? That mark says otherwise."

"It says nothing." Kili argued. "It means nothing. It means nothing to me; all it does is say goblins and orcs have nothing better to do with their lives than cause pain to others and then laugh at them! The only people it may mean something to is those goblins that you say you marked - its a constant reminder that they live in a world with a stupid ruler who cares nothing for his kin, only seeks glory for himself."

The goblin roared in anger though Thorin's heart swelled with pride. The king in exile watched with a smug grin as the great goblin gripped the side of this throne with two grubby fingers, rounding on the dwarf viciously.

"You know not what you speak of! Keep telling yourself I'm stupid, Durin. Don't bother looking toward your uncle who tells you nothing! Allow him to watch the torture that I am going to enjoy watching Tazal make you endure with the..."

He didn't finish his sentence.

From an unseeable area on the high ceiling above the spacious kingdom, the rope attaching a wooden plank to two very high up bridges came undone by the nibbling of a couple of sharp teeth. The wooden plank holding the crossings together fell directly down towards its target at an incredibly fast speed.

The jagged, sharp edge of the plank met flesh, soft and pudgy, making a satisfying squish as the tip sank deeper and deeper into the head of the glory-seeking ruler. The noise of nerves and muscles being gouged was sounded until the wood could sink in no further and half of the plank penetrated from his head.

His eyes lolled to the back of his head, turning them bloodshot. His head fell forward, in between his fat legs, the weight of his upper body making all of him collapse forward until the deceased body of the goblin king was lying in a heap in front of the throne he once sat on.

The two bridges also fell, one rolling down the large, pointy stone behind the throne and down a large drop to mahal knows where whilst the other landed on the bridge that had led the dwarves onto the platform, the sudden force making the crossing that it landed on tear from the stone it was attached to and half of it fell, smacking into the wall that one half of it still clung onto as the bridge that fell rolled off it and continued to plummet down into the darkness.

The loud, disgusting, unexpected events shocked the viewers into silence for a moment. Fili's jaw dropped open and he would have fallen forward to vomit had it not been for Ori's terrifying hand gripping his shoulder to keep him standing upright.

That was probably the most disgusting thing Kili had ever witnessed. He threw an arm to shield his eyes though he still made sure they could squint and see the happenings. "Oh, ew ew!" he gagged at the brown blood that dribbled down his tormentors head from the brutal wound.

"That wasn't exactly Tazal's plan." the half breed whispered in shock, walking over to Kili, speaking quiet enough that no other startled ears around would hear.

"You did this?" Kili hissed.

"Tazal planned for it to whack so knock unconscious, not stab so kill." Tazal admitted.

Thorin gaped, Gloin shifted uncomfortably and Balin crossed his heart. _Oh sweet lord._

The goblins hurriedly got over the shock of losing their leader and bared their teeth, charging all at once to the unready, startled dwarves. They offered punches, kicks, uppercuts but considering Dwalin was unable to head-butt his way through the crowd to make it to their pile of weapons, they were severely outnumbered and done for.

Thorin's hair was yanked back and within the next second he felt himself slammed to the ground as a force of about four goblins all rammed into him at once. The air was knocked from his lungs and he fought the urge to cough. A deadly looking blade was raised and placed to his neck threateningly whilst his dwarven companions fought to reach him.

Fili ducked a swipe and kicked a goblin in the shin, only for three more to ruin his satisfaction and grab his arms from behind. He waved his legs around frantically, trying to get them to release their darn grips on him.

Kili parted his lips in worry, no goblin attacking him or Tazal at all. They were stood there, side by side, watching the scene play like a movie before their eyes.

_I should probably do something._

The brunette looked around in response to this thought for their weapons which he eventually spotted in a heap near the giant deceased body, no dwarf able to reach it for all were otherwise engaged in fighting.

_I suppose I could throw them._

However, when he began to run that way he saw his uncle lying helplessly in the middle of the battle, craning his neck to somehow try and escape the inevitable death that was surely about to come. He paused in his tracks, unable to help. Thorin was about to react differently and try to roll away when a brilliant flash of white light washed over the cavern and a powerful burst of wind knocked all standing up onto the ground in a messy heap. Kili blinked and shook his head clear, looking around to see what had caused the disturbance. His sight rested on the unhelpful wizard who had clearly decided to be of some use as he stood proudly atop a large boulder like an unexpected saviour. "Take up arms! All of you, fight. Fight!"

* * *

**OOF**

**YIKES**

**OW**

**I almost felt sorry for the goblin king whilst writing this chapter...**

**Anyways, took Gandalf long enough hehe. He has his reasons tho... :)**


End file.
